The City Bride (1696): Or, The Merry CuckoldHarris, Joseph
General
The City Bride (1696): Or, The Merry Cuckold
Harris, Joseph
English drama
Mr. _Ven._ Nay then, since you are so rough, I tell you plainly you
are--a----
_Comp._ A what? What am I, heh?
Mr. _Ven._ A Coxcomb.
_Comp._ A Coxcomb! a Cuckold you mean, and you a Fool for your pains.
Mr. _Ven._ The Child is mine, I am the Father of it, and will keep it.
_Comp._ Yes if you can, I know you will. But pray tell me, is not my
Wife the Mother? You may be as far from being the Father as I am, for my
Wife's acquainted with more Whore-masters besides your self; ay, and as
crafty Merchants too, let me tell you that.
_Peg._ No indeed Husband, I had to do with no body else, 'twas he begot,
indeed and indeed now. Yet for all that, the Child's mine, I bred it and
bore it, and I'll have it and keep it, so I will.
Mrs. _Ven._ Pray hold there Mrs. Jill-flurt, the Child's my Husband's,
and he shall have it, or I'll tear your Eyes out, ye Whore you.
_Comp._ Good Words, Mistress; d'ye hear, give good Words you'd best, or
I shall tell you your own.
Mr. _Ven._ I'll have no more to say to ye, the Law shall determine it;
in the mean time Nurse keep the Child for me, there, there's Money for
thee.
[_Gives her Money.
_Comp._ There's Money for me too, keep it for me, Nurse; give him both
thy Duggs at once, I pay thee for the right one, Girl.
_Nurse._ I have two Hands, you see Gentlemen; this does but show ye how
the Law will hamper ye; even thus you'l be used, Gentlemen, if you go to
Law.
Mr. _Ven._ It can't be helpt, for I won't lose my Right.
_Comp._ Nor I mine for all you're a Merchant.
Mrs. _Ven._ Nor I mine for all I did not bear it.
_Peg._ Nor I, tho but a poor Sailer's Wife.
Mr. _Ven._ Well, fare ye well, we shall meet in another Place--Come
_Winny_.
[_Exit_ Venter _and his Wife._
_Comp._ Ay, ay, I'll meet you when and where you dare, and do your
worst, I fear you not: By the Lord _Harry_ the World's come to a fine
Pass, that we must go to Law for our Children. No wonder the Lawyers are
all so rich, yet e're the Law shall have a Limb, a Leg, a Joint or Nail
of this same Boy,
_'T shall cost me more than a whole Child in getting,
Some win by play, and standers by with Betting._
[Exeunt.
SCENE the Third.
_Enter_ Spruce, Arabella _with a Letter in her Hand_, Clara, _Mr._
Venter, _and Mrs._ Venter.
Mr. _Ven._ From whence came that Letter, Niece?
_Ara._ From _Putney_, Sir, and from my Husband.
Mr. _Ven._ And pray be free; Does he tell ye the Cause of his leaving
you so abruptly on his Wedding-day?
_Ara._ Yes; Sir, yet this had been sufficient to have let me known what
he is gone about, without the formal Addition of an Epistle.
_Spruce._ That, why what is that I pray Madam?
_Ara._ His Will, Sir, wherein he makes me his sole Executrix.
_Spr._ Will! why what the Devil does he mean, seriously I can't find it
out?
_Ara._ Why, Sir, he's gone to fight.
_Spr._ How fight, Madam! On my Soul then I believe _Friendly_'s Second.
_Ara._ You're in the right, he is so, and I am lost for ever!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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