As she leant, gazing out of the window down the black line of water that
lost itself in the silent gathering of the houses, there almost was
triumph in her mind. She had lost everything, but she had done
everything. She was utterly alone; but only because she had outlived
her world. And last of all, there was triumph in her heart, because her
world was complete. She could have asked nothing more of it. Her
Romance was rekindled. If there was anything to live for, it was to see
the flames leaping up in some other brazier--those flames which she had
given the spark of her life to ignite. And had she not seen them rising
already? Had she not seen the fire blessed by the only hand to whom the
power of blessing is given? For all she knew, for all she dared to
guess, the old gentleman’s blessing had fallen upon a future, further
distant than, perhaps, he dreamed of. What more had desire to ask for
than that?
She remembered how, in those days of doubt and troubling, she had
counted in fear the time which was left in which John should take his
wife. She remembered doubting that they might even live to see the
realisation of such happiness as that.
They were old people. There had no longer been certainty for them in
the counting of the years. And, as this very day had proved, John’s
marriage had come none too soon. Had it been later, had they not
received that blessing to which, with all such things as the flights of
magpies and the turnings of the moon, this simple soul of hers gave
magic virtue, then, indeed, she might have looked sorrowfully out of the
high window in the great room.
But no--there had been no such mischance as that. The vivid sense of
completeness filled her heart and raised the beating of it for a few
moments, as the hope of a dying priest is raised by the presentation of
his beloved cross.
And this is the philosophy, the stoicism of women, who will face the
fearsome emptiness of a whole desert of life, so be it, that their heart
is full and satisfied.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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