There were other differences of which I can hardly tell you in so
many words, but which must transpire as I go on. Briefly, they summed
themselves up in the fact that I had gone away one man and I was coming
back another. My old self had not only been melted down in the crucible,
but it had been stamped with a new image and superscription. It was of a
new value and a new currency, and, I think I may venture to add, of that
new coinage minted in the civil strife of mankind.
The day of my sailing from Liverpool was exactly two years four months
and three weeks from that on which I had last seen Regina Barry; and
because it was so I must tell you at once of an incident that occurred at
the minute when I stepped on board.
Having come up the long gangway easily enough, I found that at the top,
where passengers and their friends congregate, my difficulties began.
When my left eye had been shot out the right had suffered in sympathy,
and also from shock to the retina. For a while I had been blind. Rest and
care in the hospital my sister, Mabel Rideover, maintained at Taplow
had, however, restored the sight of my right eye; and now my trouble was
only with perspective. People and things crowded on one another as they
do in the vision of a baby. I would dodge that which was far away, and
allow myself to bump into objects quite near me.
As I stepped on deck I had a minute or two of bewilderment. There were so
many men more helpless than I that whatever care there was to give was
naturally bestowed on them. Moreover, most of those who thronged the top
of the gangway had too many anxieties of their own to notice that a man
who at worst was only half blind didn’t know which way to turn.
But I did turn—at a venture. The venture took me straight into a woman
holding a baby in her arms, whom I crushed against the nearest cabin
wall. The woman protested; the baby screamed. I was about, in the
rebound, to crash into some other victim when I felt from behind me a
hand take me by the arm. An almost invisible guide began to pilot me
through the crowd. All I caught sight of was a Canadian nurse’s uniform.
It is one of the results of the war that men, who are often reduced to
the mere shreds of human nature, grow accustomed to being taken care of
by women, who remain the able-bodied ones.
“Thanks,” I laughed, as the light touch pushed me along, slightly in
advance. “You caught me right in the nick of time. I can see pretty well
with my good eye, only I can’t measure distances. They tell me that will
come by degrees.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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