“But what I want to tell you is this: That when I begun to come to again,
as you might say, the first thing I wondered about was the wife and the
kids. I couldn’t get ’em out of my mind, nohow. What did I ever have ’em
for? I asked myself. Why in hell did I ever get married? Nobody never
druv me into it. I did it of my own accord. I went hangin’ after the
girl, who had a good place in the kitchen department of a big store,
and I never let her have no peace till she said she’d marry me, and did
it. Why had I been such a crazy fool? There was days and days, sittin’
right in there in that back room, when I asked myself that; and at last
I got the answer. I’m goin’ to tell it to you now, because there’s a
lot of you shysters that’s only been a few weeks in the club that’s
askin’ yourselves that very same thing. You’ve got wives and kids, the
Lord knows where—scattered to the four winds of heaven, for anything you
know—and you wish you hadn’t. But, say, don’t you go on wishin’ no such
thing; for I’m goin’ to tell you what God A’mighty said to me right there
in that back settin’-room.”
He squared himself now, planting his Egyptian monoliths with a force
which in itself was a kind of eloquence. His hands were thrust deep into
his trousers pockets and his big chest expanded.
“‘Beady,’ God A’mighty says to me, and it was just as if I’d heard
His voice, ‘if a man don’t have no one to think about but hisself he
becomes the selfishest of all things under the sun. I’m God,’ says He,
‘with nothin’ to do but enj’y myself; and yet if I didn’t have you and
the other things I make to care for and think about I wouldn’t have
nothin’. I’ve just got to have ’em, for if I didn’t I’d go crazy. So I
make beautiful worlds, and grand men, and noble women, and pretty kids,
and strong animals, and sweet birds to sing, and nice flowers to bloom,
and everything like that. I don’t make nothin’ ugly nor nothin’ bad,
nor no sickness nor sufferin’ nor poverty. You guys does all that for
yourselves, and I don’t take no rest day nor night tryin’ to show you how
not to. Listen to me, Beady,’ says He. ‘Stop thinkin’ about yourself and
that awful hulk of a body, and what it wants to eat and especially to
drink. Don’t pay no more attention to it than you can help. Say, you’re
my son, and you’re just like me. What you want is not the booze; it’s
somethin’ outside yourself to think about. I’ve given you a wife and
three fine youngsters. Now get out and get after them. Cut out livin’
for yourself and live for them. You must lose your life to find it; and
the quickest way to lose your life is not to think about your beastly
cravings at all.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account