She began painfully to count out her coins. Reaching impatiently for his
price, the Professor found himself looking straight into the eyes of the
well-dressed stranger.
"Are you going to take that woman's money?"
The question was low-toned but quite clear. An uneasy twitching beset
the corners of the professional brow. For just the fraction of a second,
the outstretched hand was stayed. Then:--
"That's what I am. And all the others I can get. Can I sell _you_ a
bottle?"
Behind the suavity there was the impudence of the man who is a little
alarmed, and a little angry because of the alarm.
"Why, yes," said the other coolly. "Some day I might like to know what's
in the stuff."
"Hand up your cash then. And here you are--Doctor. It _is_ 'Doctor,'
ain't it?"
"You've guessed it," returned the stranger.
[Illustration: HELP AND CURE ARE AT THEIR BECK AND CALL.]
At once the platform peddler became the opportunist orator again.
"A fellow practitioner, in my audience, ladies and gentlemen; and doing
me the honor of purchasing my cure. Sir," the splendid voice rose and
soared as he addressed his newest client, "you follow the noblest of
callings. My friends, I would rather heal a people's ills than determine
their destinies."
Giving them a moment to absorb that noble sentiment, he passed on to his
next source of revenue: Dyspepsia. He enlarged and expatiated upon its
symptoms until his subjects could fairly feel the grilling at the pit of
their collective stomach. One by one they came forward, the yellow-eyed,
the pasty-faced feeders on fried breakfasts, snatchers of hasty
noon-meals, sleepers on gorged stomachs. About them he wove the glamour
of his words, the arch-seducer, until the dollars fidgeted in their
pockets.
"Just one dollar the bottle, and pain is banished. Eat? You can eat a
cord of hickory for breakfast, knots and all, and digest it in an hour.
The Vitalizing Mixture does it."
Assorted ills came next. In earlier spring it would have been pneumonia
and coughs. Now it was the ailments that we have always with us:
backache, headache, indigestion and always the magnificent promise. So
he picked up the final harvest, gleaning his field.
"Now,"--the rotund voice sunk into the confidential, sympathetic
register, yet with a tone of saddened rebuke,--"there are topics that
the lips shrink from when ladies are present. But I have a word for you
young men. Young blood! Ah, young blood, and the fire of life! For that
we pay a penalty. Yet we must not overpay the debt. To such as wish my
private advice--_private_, I say, and sacredly confidential--" He broke
off and leaned out over the railing. "Thousands have lived to bless the
name of Professor Certain, and his friendship, at such a crisis;
thousands, my friends. To such, I shall be available for consultation
from nine to twelve to-morrow, at the Moscow Hotel. Remember the time
and place. Men only. Nine to twelve. And all under the inviolable seal
of my profession."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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