The Clean HeartHutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
Science
The Clean Heart
Hutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
Authors -- Fiction; Happiness -- Fiction
Come back with Mr. Wriford a little. Come back with him a little to
scenes where often his mind, not wanders, but hunts--hunts
desperately, as hunts for safety, running in panic to and fro, one
trapped by the sea on whom the tide advances. There are nights--not
occasional nights, but night after night, night after night--when Mr.
Wriford cannot sleep and when, in madness against the sleep that will
not come, he visions sleep as some actual presence that is in his
room mocking him, and springs from his bed to grapple it and seize it
and drag it to his pillow. There is a moment then--or longer, he
does not know how long--of dreadful loss of identity, in which in the
darkness Mr. Wriford flounders and smashes about his room, thinking
he wrestles with sleep: and then he realises, and trembling gets back
to bed, and cries aloud to know how in God's name to get out of this
pass to which he has come, and how in pity's name he has come to it.
Come back with him a little. Look how his life as he hunts through
it falls into periods. Look how these bring him from Young Wriford
that he was--Young Wriford fresh, ardent, keen, happy, to whom across
the years he stretches trembling hands--to this Mr. Wriford, one of
the lucky ones, that he has become.
II
Here is Young Wriford of ten years before who has just taken the
tremendous plunge into what he calls literature. Here he is, just
battling ardently with its fearful hopes and hazards when there comes
to him news of Bill and Freda, his brother and sister-in-law, killed
by sudden accident in Canada where with their children and Alice,
Freda's elder sister, they had made their home. Here he is at the
Liverpool docks, meeting Alice and the three little boys to take them
to her mother's house in Surbiton. He is the only surviving near
relative of Bill's family, and here he is, for old Bill's sake, with
every impulse concentrated on playing the game by old Bill's poor
little kids and by Alice who, unhappy at home, has always lived with
them and been their "deputy-mother," and is now, as she says, their
own mother: here is Alice, with Harold aged nine, Dicky aged eight,
and Freddie aged seven; Alice, who dreads coming to her home, who
tells Young Wriford in the train:
"I'm not crying for Freda and Bill. I can't--I simply can't realise
that even yet. It's not them, Philip. It's the future I'm thinking
of. Phil, what's going to happen to my darlings? They've got
nothing--nothing. Father's got four hundred a year--less; and I
dread that. I tell you I dread meeting mother and father more than
anything. Mother means to be kind--it's kind of her to take the
children for Freda's sake; but you know what she is and what father
is. And I've nothing--nothing!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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