The Clean HeartHutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
Science
The Clean Heart
Hutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
Authors -- Fiction; Happiness -- Fiction
Mr. Wriford had caught at her hands. For a brief moment, as one in
great agony almost swoons in ecstasy of relief at sudden cessation of
the pain, he had felt his brain swing, then float, in most exquisite
calm at the peace, at the strength their firm, cool touch
communicated to him. Then Mr. Wriford saw the laughing lightness in
her eyes, and felt his own--whose dull, aching burn had for that
instant been slaked--burn, burn anew; and felt beat up his brain that
dreadful rush of blood that often in these days terrified him; and
felt that lift and surge through all his pulses that sometimes reeled
him on his feet; and knew that baffling lapse of thought which always
followed, as though the surge were in fact a tide of affairs that
flung him high and dry and left him out of action to pick his way
back--to grope back to the thread of purpose, to the train of
thought, that had been snapped--if he could!
Mr. Wriford knew that the day was coming when he could not. Every
time when, in the midst of ideas, of speech, of action, the surge
swept him adrift and stranded him vacant and bewildered, the effort
to get back was appreciably harder--the interval appreciably of
greater length. The thing to do was to hang on--hang on like death
while the tide surged up your brain. That sometimes left you with a
recollection--a clue--that helped you back more quickly.
Mr. Wriford hung on.
The surge took him, swept him, left him. He was with Brida in
Brida's jolly little flat in Knightsbridge, holding her hands. It
was a longish time since he had been to see her. She had come into
the room gay as ever--
Mr. Wriford got suddenly back to the point whence he had been
suddenly cut adrift; remembered the surge, realised the lapse,
recalled how he had caught at her hands, how they had soothed him,
how, like a mock, he had seen the laughter in her eyes. Mr. Wriford
threw back her hands at her with a violent motion, and went back a
step, not meaning to, and knew again the frequent desire in moments
of stress such as had just passed, and in moments of recovery such as
he now was in, to shout out very loudly a jumble of cries of despair,
as often he cried them at night, or inwardly when not alone. "O God!
Oh, I say! I say! I say! Oh, this can't go on! Oh, this must
end--this must end! Oh, I say! I say!" but mastered the desire and
effected instead a confusion of sentences ending with "then."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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