He teed up the ball, took a careless stance, and flicked moodily. There was a sharp crack, the ball shot off the tee, flew a hundred yards in a dead straight line never ten feet above the ground, soared another seventy yards in a graceful arc, struck the turf, rolled, and came to rest within easy mashie distance of the green. "Splendid!" I cried. The man seemed stunned. "How did that happen?" I told him very simply. "Your stance was right, and your grip was right, and you kept your head still, and didn't sway your body, and never took your eye off the ball, and slowed back, and let the arms come well through, and rolled the wrists, and let the club-head lead, and kept your balance, and pivoted on the ball of the left foot, and didn't duck the right knee." "I see," he said. "Yes, I thought that must be it." "Now let's go home." "Wait a minute. I just want to remember what I did while it's fresh in my mind. Let me see, this was the way I stood. Or was it more like this? No, like this." He turned to me, beaming. "What a great idea it was, my taking up golf! It's all nonsense what you read in the comic papers about people foozling all over the place and breaking clubs and all that. You've only to exercise a little reasonable care. And what a corking game it is! Nothing like it in the world! I wonder if Betty is up yet. I must go round and show her how I did that drive. A perfect swing, with every ounce of weight, wrist, and muscle behind it. I meant to keep it a secret from the dear girl till I had really learned, but of course I _have_ learned now. Let's go round and rout her out." He had given me my cue. I put my hand on his shoulder and spoke sorrowfully. "Mortimer, my boy, I fear I have bad news for you." "Slow; back--keep the head---- What's that? Bad news?" "About Betty." "About Betty? What about her? Don't sway the body--keep the eye on the----" "Prepare yourself for a shock, my boy. Yesterday afternoon Betty called to see me. When she had gone I found that she had stolen my silver matchbox." "Stolen your matchbox?" "Stolen my matchbox." "Oh, well, I dare say there were faults on both sides," said Mortimer. "Tell me if I sway my body this time." "You don't grasp what I have said! Do you realize that Betty, the girl you are going to marry, is a kleptomaniac?" "A kleptomaniac!" "That is the only possible explanation. Think what this means, my boy. Think how you will feel every time your wife says she is going out to do a little shopping! Think of yourself, left alone at home, watching the clock, saying to yourself, 'Now she is lifting a pair of silk stockings!' 'Now she is hiding gloves in her umbrella!' 'Just about this moment she is getting away with a pearl necklace!'" "Would she do that?" "She would! She could not help herself. Or, rather, she could not refrain from helping herself. How about it, my boy?" "It only draws us closer together," he said.