The Clicking of CuthbertWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Clicking of Cuthbert
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Golf stories; Humorous stories
The main difference, we are told, between the amateur and the
professional golfer is the fact that the latter is always aiming at the
pin, while the former has in his mind a vague picture of getting
somewhere reasonably near it. Vincent Jopp invariably went for the pin.
He tried to hole out from anywhere inside two hundred and twenty yards.
The only occasion on which I ever heard him express any chagrin or
disappointment was during the afternoon round on his first day out,
when from the tee on the two hundred and eighty yard seventh he laid
his ball within six inches of the hole.
"A marvellous shot!" I cried, genuinely stirred.
"Too much to the right," said Vincent Jopp, frowning.
He went on from triumph to triumph. He won the monthly medal in May,
June, July, August, and September. Towards the end of May he was heard
to complain that Wissahicky Glen was not a sporting course. The Greens
Committee sat up night after night trying to adjust his handicap so as
to give other members an outside chance against him. The golf experts
of the daily papers wrote columns about his play. And it was pretty
generally considered throughout the country that it would be a pure
formality for anyone else to enter against him in the Amateur
Championship--an opinion which was borne out when he got through into
the final without losing a hole. A safe man to have betted on, you
would have said. But mark the sequel.
* * * * *
The American Amateur Championship was held that year in Detroit. I had
accompanied my employer there; for, though engaged on this
nerve-wearing contest, he refused to allow his business to be
interfered with. As he had indicated in his schedule, he was busy at
the time cornering wheat; and it was my task to combine the duties of
caddy and secretary. Each day I accompanied him round the links with my
note-book and his bag of clubs, and the progress of his various matches
was somewhat complicated by the arrival of a stream of telegraph-boys
bearing important messages. He would read these between the strokes and
dictate replies to me, never, however, taking more than the five
minutes allowed by the rules for an interval between strokes. I am
inclined to think that it was this that put the finishing touch on his
opponents' discomfiture. It is not soothing for a nervous man to have
the game hung up on the green while his adversary dictates to his caddy
a letter beginning "Yours of the 11th inst. received and contents
noted. In reply would state----" This sort of thing puts a man off his
game.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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