The Clicking of CuthbertWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Clicking of Cuthbert
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Golf stories; Humorous stories
"Oh, it's nothing important. Will you say that Mrs. Luella Mainprice
Jopp called up to wish him luck? I shall be on the course tomorrow to
see him win the final."
I returned to my notes. Soon afterwards the telephone rang again.
"Vincent, dear?"
"Mr. Jopp's secretary speaking."
"Oh, will you say that Mrs. Jane Jukes Jopp called up to wish him luck?
I shall be there tomorrow to see him play."
I resumed my work. I had hardly started when the telephone rang for the
third time.
"Mr. Jopp?"
"Mr. Jopp's secretary speaking."
"This is Mrs. Agnes Parsons Jopp. I just called up to wish him luck. I
shall be looking on tomorrow."
I shifted my work nearer to the telephone-table so as to be ready for
the next call. I had heard that Vincent Jopp had only been married
three times, but you never knew.
Presently Jopp came in.
"Anybody called up?" he asked.
"Nobody on business. An assortment of your wives were on the wire
wishing you luck. They asked me to say that they will be on the course
tomorrow."
For a moment it seemed to me that the man's iron repose was shaken.
"Luella?" he asked.
"She was the first."
"Jane?"
"And Jane."
"And Agnes?"
"Agnes," I said, "is right."
"H'm!" said Vincent Jopp. And for the first time since I had known him
I thought that he was ill at ease.
* * * * *
The day of the final dawned bright and clear. At least, I was not awake
at the time to see, but I suppose it did; for at nine o'clock, when I
came down to breakfast, the sun was shining brightly. The first
eighteen holes were to be played before lunch, starting at eleven.
Until twenty minutes before the hour Vincent Jopp kept me busy taking
dictation, partly on matters connected with his wheat deal and partly
on a signed article dealing with the Final, entitled "How I Won." At
eleven sharp we were out on the first tee.
Jopp's opponent was a nice-looking young man, but obviously nervous. He
giggled in a distraught sort of way as he shook hands with my employer.
"Well, may the best man win," he said.
"I have arranged to do so," replied Jopp, curtly, and started to
address his ball.
There was a large crowd at the tee, and, as Jopp started his
down-swing, from somewhere on the outskirts of this crowd there came
suddenly a musical "Boo!" It rang out in the clear morning air like a
bugle.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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