"One day the richest farmer in the place had twins to baptize. The curé
was had to the christening dinner as usual; but, ere he would baptize
the children, he demanded, not the christening fees only, but the burial
fees. 'Saints defend us, parson,' cried the mother; 'talk not of
burying! I did never see children liker to live.' 'Nor I,' said the
curé, 'the praise be to God. Natheless, they are sure to die; being sons
of Adam, as well as of thee, dame. But, die when they will, 'twill cost
them nothing; the burial fees being paid and entered in this book.' 'For
all that, 'twill cost them something,' quoth the miller, the greatest
wag in the place, and as big a knave as any; for which was the biggest
God knoweth, but no mortal man, not even the hangman. 'Miller, I tell
thee nay', quo the curé. 'Parson, I tell you ay,' quo the miller.
''Twill cost them their lives.' At which millstone conceit was a great
laugh; and in the general mirth the fees were paid and the Christians
made.
"But when the next parishioner's child, and the next after, and all, had
to pay each his burial fee, or lose his place in heaven, discontent did
secretly rankle in the parish. Well, one fine day they met in secret,
and sent a churchwarden with a complaint to the bishop, and a
thunderbolt fell on the poor curé. Came to him at dinner-time a summons
to the episcopal palace, to bring the parish books and answer certain
charges. Then the curé guessed where the shoe pinched. He left his food
on the board; for small his appetite now; and took the parish books and
went quaking.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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