The Club of Queer TradesChesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
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The Club of Queer Trades
Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
Detective and mystery stories, English; Private investigators -- England -- London -- Fiction
“I am in a terrible difficulty,” said the young man, and his voice told
us, like a clear bell, that he was an honest man. “If I spoke about him
as I feel about him now, I could not trust myself. And I should like to
be able to say that when I first saw him I thought he was charming. But
again, the fact is I didn't. I hate him, that is my private affair. But
I also disapprove of him--really I do believe I disapprove of him quite
apart from my private feelings. When first he came, I admit he was much
quieter, but I did not like, so to speak, the moral swell of him. Then
that jolly old Sir Walter Cholmondeliegh got introduced to us, and this
fellow, with his cheap-jack wit, began to score off the old man in the
way he does now. Then I felt that he must be a bad lot; it must be
bad to fight the old and the kindly. And he fights the poor old chap
savagely, unceasingly, as if he hated old age and kindliness. Take, if
you want it, the evidence of a prejudiced witness. I admit that I hate
the man because a certain person admires him. But I believe that apart
from that I should hate the man because old Sir Walter hates him.”
This speech affected me with a genuine sense of esteem and pity for the
young man; that is, of pity for him because of his obviously hopeless
worship of Miss Beaumont, and of esteem for him because of the direct
realistic account of the history of Wimpole which he had given. Still, I
was sorry that he seemed so steadily set against the man, and could
not help referring it to an instinct of his personal relations, however
nobly disguised from himself.
In the middle of these meditations, Grant whispered in my ear what was
perhaps the most startling of all interruptions.
“In the name of God, let's get away.”
I have never known exactly in how odd a way this odd old man affected
me. I only know that for some reason or other he so affected me that I
was, within a few minutes, in the street outside.
“This,” he said, “is a beastly but amusing affair.”
“What is?” I asked, baldly enough.
“This affair. Listen to me, my old friend. Lord and Lady Beaumont have
just invited you and me to a grand dinner-party this very night, at
which Mr Wimpole will be in all his glory. Well, there is nothing very
extraordinary about that. The extraordinary thing is that we are not
going.”
“Well, really,” I said, “it is already six o'clock and I doubt if we
could get home and dress. I see nothing extraordinary in the fact that
we are not going.”
“Don't you?” said Grant. “I'll bet you'll see something extraordinary in
what we're doing instead.”
I looked at him blankly.
“Doing instead?” I asked. “What are we doing instead?”
“Why,” said he, “we are waiting for one or two hours outside this house
on a winter evening. You must forgive me; it is all my vanity. It is
only to show you that I am right. Can you, with the assistance of this
cigar, wait until both Sir Walter Cholmondeliegh and the mystic Wimpole
have left this house?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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