The Club of Queer TradesChesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
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The Club of Queer Trades
Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
Detective and mystery stories, English; Private investigators -- England -- London -- Fiction
Suddenly from aloft came Basil's boisterous hailing voice as before:
“Come up, you fellows. Here's Lieutenant Keith.”
And a second afterwards came the half-American voice we had heard in our
chambers more than once. It called out:
“Happy to see you, gentlemen; pray come in.”
Out of a hole in an enormous dark egg-shaped thing, pendent in the
branches like a wasps' nest, was protruding the pale face and fierce
moustache of the lieutenant, his teeth shining with that slightly
Southern air that belonged to him.
Somehow or other, stunned and speechless, we lifted ourselves heavily
into the opening. We fell into the full glow of a lamp-lit, cushioned,
tiny room, with a circular wall lined with books, a circular table,
and a circular seat around it. At this table sat three people. One was
Basil, who, in the instant after alighting there, had fallen into an
attitude of marmoreal ease as if he had been there from boyhood; he was
smoking a cigar with a slow pleasure. The second was Lieutenant Drummond
Keith, who looked happy also, but feverish and doubtful compared with
his granite guest. The third was the little bald-headed house-agent with
the wild whiskers, who called himself Montmorency. The spears, the
green umbrella, and the cavalry sword hung in parallels on the wall. The
sealed jar of strange wine was on the mantelpiece, the enormous rifle
in the corner. In the middle of the table was a magnum of champagne.
Glasses were already set for us.
The wind of the night roared far below us, like an ocean at the foot
of a light-house. The room stirred slightly, as a cabin might in a mild
sea.
Our glasses were filled, and we still sat there dazed and dumb. Then
Basil spoke.
“You seem still a little doubtful, Rupert. Surely there is no further
question about the cold veracity of our injured host.”
“I don't quite grasp it all,” said Rupert, blinking still in the sudden
glare. “Lieutenant Keith said his address was--”
“It's really quite right, sir,” said Keith, with an open smile. “The
bobby asked me where I lived. And I said, quite truthfully, that I lived
in the elms on Buxton Common, near Purley. So I do. This gentleman, Mr
Montmorency, whom I think you have met before, is an agent for houses
of this kind. He has a special line in arboreal villas. It's being kept
rather quiet at present, because the people who want these houses don't
want them to get too common. But it's just the sort of thing a fellow
like myself, racketing about in all sorts of queer corners of London,
naturally knocks up against.”
“Are you really an agent for arboreal villas?” asked Rupert eagerly,
recovering his ease with the romance of reality.
Mr Montmorency, in his embarrassment, fingered one of his pockets and
nervously pulled out a snake, which crawled about the table.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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