“W-well, yes, sir,” he said. “The fact was--er--my people wanted me very much to go into the house-agency business. But I never cared myself for anything but natural history and botany and things like that. My poor parents have been dead some years now, but--naturally I like to respect their wishes. And I thought somehow that an arboreal villa agency was a sort of--of compromise between being a botanist and being a house-agent.” Rupert could not help laughing. “Do you have much custom?” he asked. “N-not much,” replied Mr Montmorency, and then he glanced at Keith, who was (I am convinced) his only client. “But what there is--very select.” “My dear friends,” said Basil, puffing his cigar, “always remember two facts. The first is that though when you are guessing about any one who is sane, the sanest thing is the most likely; when you are guessing about any one who is, like our host, insane, the maddest thing is the most likely. The second is to remember that very plain literal fact always seems fantastic. If Keith had taken a little brick box of a house in Clapham with nothing but railings in front of it and had written 'The Elms' over it, you wouldn't have thought there was anything fantastic about that. Simply because it was a great blaring, swaggering lie you would have believed it.” “Drink your wine, gentlemen,” said Keith, laughing, “for this confounded wind will upset it.” We drank, and as we did so, although the hanging house, by a cunning mechanism, swung only slightly, we knew that the great head of the elm tree swayed in the sky like a stricken thistle. Chapter 5. The Noticeable Conduct of Professor Chadd