"Oh, thank you," said Cornelia. She thought she was going to say
something more, but she stopped stiffly at that, and they both stood in
an embarrassment which neither could hide from the other. He repeated
his offer, in other terms, and she was able finally to thank him a
little more fitly, and to say that she should not forget his kind
offer; she should not forget all he had done for her, all the trouble
he had taken, and they parted with a vague alienation.
As we grow older, we are impatient of misunderstandings, of
disagreements; we make haste to have them explained; but while we are
young, life seems so spacious and so full of chances that we fetch a
large compass round about such things, and wait for favoring
fortuities, and hope for occasions precisely fit; we linger in
dangerous delays, and take risks that may be ruinous.
Cornelia went hack to her work at the Synthesis as before, but she
worked listlessly and aimlessly; the zest was gone, and the meaning.
She knew that for the past month she had drudged through the morning at
the Synthesis that she might free herself to the glad endeavor of the
afternoon at Charmian's studio with a good conscience. Ludlow's
criticism, even when it was harshest, was incentive and inspiration;
and her life was blank and dull on the old terms.
The arts have a logic of their own, which seems no logic at all to the
interests. Ludlow's world found it altogether fit and intelligible that
he should give up trying to paint Charmian if he had failed to get his
picture of her, and thought he could not get it. Mrs. Maybough's world
regarded it as a breach of contract for him not to do what he had
undertaken. She had more trouble to reconcile her friends to his
behavior than she had in justifying it to herself. Through Charmian she
had at least a second-hand appreciation of motives and principles that
were instantly satisfactory to the girl and to all her comrades at the
Synthesis; they accepted it as another proof of Ludlow's greatness that
he should frankly own he had missed his picture of her, and they
exalted Charmian as a partner in his merit, for being so impossible.
The arguments of Wetmore went for something with Mrs. Maybough, though
they were mainly admissions to the effect that Ludlow was more of a
crank than he had supposed, and would have to be humored in a case of
the kind; but it was chiefly the courage and friendship of Mrs. Westley
that availed. She enforced what she had to say in his behalf with the
invitation to her January Thursdays which she had brought. She had
brought it in person because she wished to beg Mrs. Maybough to let her
daughter come with her friend, Miss Saunders, and pour tea at the first
of the Thursdays.
"I got you off," she said to Ludlow, when they met, "but it was not
easy. She still thinks you ought to have let her see your last attempt,
and left her to decide whether it was good or not."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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