The stage was a narrow shelf of wood swung in that void, from which the
voice sang, and a bare finger of light followed it about from place to
place. The sweet, searching tenor notes, the semblance of passion and
reality the gesticulating Frenchman threw over all the stage, and the
_crescendo_ of the tragedy carried her into a mood that barred out Ella,
barred out Clara, barred out Harry more than any; but, unaccountably,
Kerr was still with her. He was there by no will of hers, but by some
essence of his own, some quality that linked him, as it linked her, to
the passionate subtleties of life. He seemed to her the eager spirit
that was prompting and putting forward this comedy and tragedy playing
on before her. She heard him reasserted, vigorous, lawless, wandering,
in the voice of the mimic strolling player addressing his mimic
audience. The appeal of the tenor to the voiceless galleries,
"Underneath this little play we show, there is another play," seemed
indeed the very voice of Kerr repeating itself. And with the climax of
the sharp tragedy in the middle of the comic stage she placed him
again, but placed him this time in the mimic audience looking on,
neither applauding nor dissenting; but rather as if he watched the play
and played it, too.
The lights went up with a spring. A wave of motion flickered over the
house, the talking voices burst forth all at once, and she saw him,
really saw him for the first time that evening, as in her fancy, part of
the audience; as in her fancy, neither applauding nor dissenting, yet
with what a difference! He leaned back in his chair, and leaned his head
a little back, as if, for weariness, he wished there were a rest behind
it; and how indifferently, how critically, how levelly he surveyed the
fluttered house, and the figures in the box beside him! How foreign he
appeared to the ardent spirit who had dominated the dark; how emptied of
the heat of imagination, how worn, how dry; and even in his salience,
how singularly pathetic! He was neither the satanic person of the first
night, nor her comrade of the Presidio hills. And if the expression of
his face was not quite so cheap as cynicism, it was just the absence of
belief in anything.
She felt a lump in her throat, an ache of the cruelest disappointment,
as though some masker, masking as the fire of life, had suddenly removed
the covering of his face and showed her the burnt-out bones beneath. The
shift from what she remembered him to what he now appeared was too rapid
and considerable for her. She found herself looking at him through a
mist of tears--there in the heart of publicity, in the middle of the
circle of red velvet curtains!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account