The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 01Bierce, Ambrose
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The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 01
Bierce, Ambrose
Fiction
"Honorable but erring stranger," replied the famous jurist, "if we
permitted the prisoner in a murder trial to urge such a consideration as
that--if our laws recognized any other justification than that he believed
himself in peril of immediate death or great bodily injury--nearly all
assassins would make some such defense. They would plead insanity of some
kind and degree, and it would be almost impossible to establish their
guilt. Murder trials would be expensive and almost interminable, defiled
with perjury and sentiment. Juries would be deluded and confused, justice
baffled, and red-handed man-killers turned loose to repeat their crimes
and laugh at the law. Even as the law is, in a population of only one
hundred million we have had no fewer than three homicides in less than
twenty years! With such statutes and customs as yours we should have had
at least twice as many. Believe me, I know my people; they have not the
American respect for human life."
As blushing is deemed in Batrugia a sign of pride, I turned my back upon
the speaker--an act which, fortunately, signifies a desire to hear more.
"Law," he continued, "is for the good of the greatest number. Execution of
an actual lunatic now and then is not an evil to the community, nor, when
rightly considered, to the lunatic himself. He is better off when dead,
and society is profited by his removal. We are spared the cost of exposing
imposture, the humiliation of acquitting the guilty, the peril of their
freedom, the contagion of their evil example."
"In my country," I said, "we have a saying to the effect that it is better
that ninety-nine guilty escape than that one innocent be punished."
"It is better," said he, "for the ninety-nine guilty, but distinctly worse
for everybody else. Sir," he concluded with chilling austerity, "I infer
from their proverb that your countrymen are the most offensive blockheads
in existence."
By way of refutation I mentioned the English, indignantly withdrew from
the country and set sail for Gokeetle-guk, or, as we should translate the
name, Trustland.
THE JUMJUM OF GOKEETLE-GUK
Arriving at the capital of the country after many incredible adventures, I
was promptly arrested by the police and taken before the Jumjum. He was an
exceedingly affable person, and held office by appointment, "for life or
fitness," as their laws express it. With one necessary exception all
offices are appointive and the tenure of all except that is the same. The
Panjandrum, or, as we should call him, King, is elected for a term of ten
years, at the expiration of which he is shot. It is held that any man who
has been so long in high authority will have committed enough sins and
blunders to deserve death, even if none can be specifically proved.
Brought into the presence of the Jumjum, who graciously saluted me, I was
seated on a beautiful rug and told in broken English by an interpreter who
had escaped from Kansas that I was at liberty to ask any questions that I
chose.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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