The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 01Bierce, Ambrose
General
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 01
Bierce, Ambrose
Fiction
"Your Highness," I said, addressing the Jumjum through the interpreting
Populist, "I fear that I do not understand; I expected, not to ask
questions, but to have to answer them. I am ready to give such an account
of myself as will satisfy you that I am an honest man--neither a criminal
nor a spy."
"The gentleman seems to regard himself with a considerable interest," said
the Jumjum, aside to an officer of his suite--a remark which the
interpreter, with characteristic intelligence, duly repeated to me. Then
addressing me the Jumjum said:
"Doubtless your personal character is an alluring topic, but it is
relevant to nothing in any proceedings that can be taken here. When a
foreigner arrives in our capital he is brought before me to be instructed
in whatever he may think it expedient for him to know of the manners,
customs, laws, and so forth, of the country that he honors with his
presence. It matters nothing to us what he is, but much to him what we
are. You are at liberty to inquire."
I was for a moment overcome with emotion by so noble an example of
official civility and thoughtfulness, then, after a little reflection, I
said: "May it please your Highness, I should greatly like to be informed
of the origin of the name of your esteemed country."
"Our country," said the Jumjum, acknowledging the compliment by a movement
of his ears, "is called Trustland because all its industries, trades and
professions are conducted by great aggregations of capital known as
'trusts.' They do the entire business of the country."
"Good God!" I exclaimed; "what a terrible state of affairs that is! I know
about trusts. Why do your people not rise and throw off the yoke?"
"You are pleased to be unintelligible," said the great man, with a smile.
"Would you mind explaining what you mean by 'the yoke'?"
"I mean," said I, surprised by his ignorance of metaphor, but reflecting
that possibly the figures of rhetoric were not used in that country--"I
mean the oppression, the slavery under which your people groan, their
bond-age to the tyrannical trusts, entailing poverty, unrequited toil and
loss of self-respect."
"Why, as to that," he replied, "our people are prosperous and happy. There
is very little poverty and what there is is obviously the result of vice
or improvidence. Our labor is light and all the necessaries of life, many
of the comforts and some of the luxuries are abundant and cheap. I hardly
know what you mean by the tyranny of the trusts; they do not seem to care
to be tyrannous, for each having the entire market for what it produces,
its prosperity is assured and there is none of the strife and competition
which, as I can imagine, might breed hardness and cruelty. Moreover, we
should not let them be tyrannous. Why should we?"
"But, your Highness, suppose, for example, the trust that manufactures
safety pins should decide to double the price of its product. What is to
prevent great injury to the consumer?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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