The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 10: The OpinionatorBierce, Ambrose
General
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 10: The Opinionator
Bierce, Ambrose
American essays; American literature
America’s dyspepsia is not entirely the product of the frying-pan,
the pie and the use of the stop-watch at meals. Any wholesome reform
in bread-making as practiced darkly in the secrecy of our kitchens,
will materially mitigate the national disorder; though even bread made
according to the plans and specifications of Our Mary can hardly be
expected to manifest all its virtues if eaten blazing hot. Whatever
may be the outcome of Mistress Mary’s quite contrary way of imparting
her sacred secret to a foreign newspaper and ignoring the press of her
own country—whether anybody now compounds bread after her prescription
or not, or if anybody does, whether anybody else will eat it—this much
was accomplished: she showed that at least one American woman was not
afraid to tell the world and the public prosecutors how she made bread.
As a bread-maker she was indubitably gifted with the divine audacity of
genius.
ADVICE TO OLD MEN
It goes without saying that among the elements of success a broad and
liberal total abstinence is chief. The old man who gets drunk before
dinner is born to failure as the sparks fly upward. Diligence in
business is another qualification that needs not be particularly dwelt
upon; the old man who seeks his ease while his young and energetic
employees, trained to habits of industry, are stealing all the profits
of the business will find his finish where he did not lose it. He is
beyond the reach of remonstrance.
Study the rising old man. You will find him invariably distinguished
by seriousness. He is not given to frivolity. He does not play at
football. He does not contribute jokes to the comic papers. He does not
waste his time kissing the girls. The rising old man is all business.
We can all be that way if we are old enough to have no infrangible
habits.
As to manners, and these are of the utmost importance, a deferential
and reverent attitude toward youth has a commercial value that it
would be hard to appraise too highly. Remember, old man, that the youth
whom you employ to-day you may serve to-morrow, if he will have you. It
is worth while to make him admire you, and the best way to do so is to
show him that you respect him. There are certain virtues that win the
admiration of all; let him think that you think that he has them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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