The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 10: The OpinionatorBierce, Ambrose
General
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 10: The Opinionator
Bierce, Ambrose
American essays; American literature
A most desirable quality in an old man is modesty. It is not only
valuable as a mental equipment necessary to success, it is right and
just that you should have it. Pray do not forget, in the exultation of
growing old, that age is peculiarly liable to error through the glamour
of experience. To the errors of age and experience are attributable
most of those failures which come to us in the later life. We can not
help being old, but Heaven has not denied us the opportunity to take
counsel of youth and ignorance. Some one has said that the way to
succeed is to think like a philosopher and then act like a fool. The
thinking being needless, a mere intellectual luxury, and therefore a
sinful waste of the time allowed us for another and better purpose,
renounce it. As to action, study the young. Every successful man was
once young.
Do not try to get anything for nothing: when you have obtained a
liberal discount for cash you have done much; do the rest by paying the
cash. An honest old man is the pride and glory of his son.
Dig, save, fast, go as nearly naked as the law allows, and if Heaven
does not reward you with success you will nevertheless have the
satisfaction that comes of the consciousness of being a glittering
example to American age.
A DUBIOUS VINDICATION
Hardly any class of persons enjoys complete immunity from injustice
and calumny, even if “armed with the ballot”; but probably no
class has so severely suffered from Slander’s mordant tooth as our
man-eating brethren of that indefinite region known as the “Cannibal
Islands.” Nations which do not eat themselves, and which, with even
greater self-denial, refrain from banqueting on other nations, have
for generations been subjected to a species of criticism that must
be a sore trial to their patience. Every reprobate among us who has
sense enough to push a pencil along the measured mile of a day’s task
in a newspaper office without telling the truth has experienced a
sinful pleasure in representing anthropophagi as persons of imperfect
refinement and ailing morals. They have been censured even, for murder;
though surely it is kinder to take the life of a man whom you set apart
for your dinner than to eat him struggling. It has been said of them
that they are particularly partial to the flesh of missionaries.
It appears that this is not so. The Rev. Mr. Hopkins, of the Methodist
Church, who returned to New York after a residence of fifteen years in
the various islands of the South Pacific, assured his brethren that in
all that period he could not recollect a single instance in which he
was made to feel himself a comestible. He averred that his spiritual
character was everywhere recognized, and so far as he knew he was never
in peril of being put to the tooth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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