He said: “Yes, indeed, Ime jest the feller which can whack up the desired infmation, to the queens taste. Most peoples they think it is because he has a comical disposition, but they are mistook, for generally speakin he is the solemest aquatical bird which sails the seas over, but he is cursed with a fatal memory. “One time, a little while after the world was made, Adam and Eve was a sittin by the side of a lake, and there was a loon hid in the reeds which grew in the water. Adam he held Eves hand, and stroked it, and patted her on the shoulder, and ran his fingers through her hair, and done all them things which crazy folks do and sensible fellers like me and you dont understand. Bime by Eve she up and said: ‘Adam, do you love me?’ “Adam he said, Adam did: ‘How couldnt I, when you are the sweetest woman in the world?’ “Eve she smiled real bright, and after a while she said a other time: ‘Forgive me, dearest, if I pain you, but I have been worryin so much about some thing. Was you ever in love before?’ “Adam he look at her real solem out of his eyes, and then he rose his right hand up and said: ‘No, darling, I swear it, never till I met you.’ “Then Eve she snuggled down close to him and murmured: ‘O Adam, it gives me such joy for to hear you say that!’ “It give the loon joy too, and his laughture rang out over the waters, loud and shrill and echo answered from the hill. And to this day he laughs whenever he thinks of the women folks.” But if me and Billy had been there we would have ringed the loons neck, cause the Bible it says that scoffers shall be casted into Abrahams bosom. Loons is mammals, and the walrus is poultry, and cracky diles is ally gaters, and the camel is the sheep of the desert and is hunted for its plumes. And thats why I say how wonderful is the works of Man! THE SNAKE The fish is a animal and the bird is a beast, but snakes is a fo to man. The snake he is the same as serpents, only he hasnt no feets, and that makes him mad and he bites every thing which is in the world. Snakes is pizen, but the hog he says: “I dont care, it wont do you any good for to bite me.” Then the snake he says: “It dont do me no good for to bite any kind of feller, that aint why I do it, I aint selfish.” So he whacks away at the hog and hollers hooray! But the hog he catches him by the middle and makes 2 snakes of him in a minute and says: “I’m pretty bitey my self, thank you.” Hogs is pork, but Jakey Epstein he says he would rather be one than eat one. But give me a sucker nice roasted, with plenty mashed potatoes, and apple sauce, and pickles, and hot cakes, and mince pie, and walnuts, and you will see a boy which knows his own mind. Hogs is bristly, but the ally gater has notches in the spine of his back and eats niggers.