DEAR PETER,—There has been quite a number of disturbances in here lately, and three or four cases of scandalous misconduct on the part of the saints, one of whom, in fact, eloped with an angel. Another was arrested for pocketing some of the golden pavement, and some have been trying to become famous by cutting their initials in the bark of the Tree of Life. Inquiry shows that in every instance the offender is a recent arrival, always a prominent citizen and a member of a number of “societies.” I won’t overrule your action, but really the character of this place is changing. I must ask you to stick to the old tests—a godly life and a humble acceptance of the Christian religion. When I saw the Name that was signed to that note I could not utter a word. I turned away and came Here. THE FOOL (_Bits of Dialogue from an Unpublished Morality Play_) I FOOL—I have a question for you. PHILOSOPHER—I have many, for myself. Do you happen to have heard that a fool can ask what a philosopher is unable to answer? F.—I happen to have heard that if that is true the one is as great a fool as the other. PH.—What presumption! Philosophy is search for truth; folly is submission to happiness. F.—But happiness is the sole desire and only possible purpose of man. PH.—Has virtue no other end? F.—The other end of virtue is the beginning. PH.—Instructed, I sit at your feet. F.—Unwilling to instruct, I stand on my head. —————— PHILOSOPHER—You say that happiness is the sole desire of man. This is much disputed. FOOL—There is happiness in disputation. PH.—But Socrates says— F.—He was a Grecian. I hate foreigners. PH.—Wisdom is of no country. F.—Of none that I have observed. —————— PHILOSOPHER—Let us return to our subject, happiness as the sole desire of man. Crack me these nuts. (1) The man that endures a life of toil and privation for the good of others. FOOL—Does he feel remorse for so doing? Does he not rather like it? PH.—(2) He who, famishing himself, gives his loaf to a beggar. F.—There are those who prefer benevolence to bread. PH.—(3) How of him who goes joyfully to martyrdom at the stake? F.—He goes joyfully. PH.—And yet— F.—Did you ever talk with a good man going to the stake? PH.—I never saw one going to the stake. F.—Unfavored observer!—you were born a century too early. —————— PHILOSOPHER—You say that you hate foreigners. Why? FOOL—Because I am human. PH.—But so are they. F.—I thank you for the better reason. —————— PHILOSOPHER—I have been thinking of the pocopo. FOOL—So have I; what is it?