My father he is a Repubcan, jest like me, but Uncle Ned says Repubcans is engaged in a nofarious conspuracy for to over throw the liberty of the peoples and prevent him bein a post master. One day my sisters young man, wich hates dogs, he was goin along the street, and there was a woman and a little wooly dog. When he come up behind for to pass them the dog it dropped back and made a face at him, which made him awful mad, so he kicked it way up in the air, like it was a bird, and it sang like eagles as it flew. The woman surveyed its flight with horrify, and when it come down on the other side the street she turned around for to sass some body, but my sisters young man he was mighty absorbed in a news paper. But the woman she said: “You aint no gentle man!” He looked up, awful innocent and real hurt, and said: “Why not?” Then the woman she hestated and stamered and blushed, but bime by said: “Because you read news papers in the public street, and that isnt good manners.” So he folded the paper real careful up and put it in his pocket and said: “I beg your pardon, madam, I was only but jest glancin at the semi annual report of the Society for Entertainin Heavenly Visitants When They Light on this Mundane Sphere, cause I am the presider of it. I think I jest now saw one of them fellers light right over there. I go for to seek my duty.” Then he crossed to the other side of the street, where the wooly dog had come down in the weeds and was lost to view, and the woman she said she never in all her life! But if he would kick Bildad, thats our new dog, Bildad would rend him limb from limb, for Bil he is the king of beasts, and is give dominion over every creepy thing. Dogs live to a green old age and are much esteemed, but hogs waller, and Mister Pitchel, which is the preacher, he prays and takes up a colection. And thats why the Bible it says be of good cheer, for ye shall all be casted into the lake of fire and brim stone. One day a womans dog it bit a tramp and she said: “Poor feller, Ime so sorry my dog et you.” The tramp he said: “Thats all right, lady, I et his brother.” When a dog waggles his tail, that makes him happy, but when a man is happy he shakes hands and stomps on his hat. Every boy ought to have a dog, cause boys are masculine, but girls are efemeral. There was a man had a dog which was a biter, the dog was, and one day it bit the butcher which brought the meat. So when the butcher come with the meat next day he brought along a ox liver and threw it to the dog and said: “You eat that and let honest folks be.” But the liver was so bad the dog wouldn’t eat it and slank into its kennel and the butch he went away. Bime by the man which had the dogs wife she come out for to feed the chickens and she see the liver. So she called the man which had the dog, and rang her hands and said: “O Jacob, some thing awful has happened!” The man which had the dog he could smell the liver, and he said: “It is a happenin now.”