A other time Mister Gipple said: “Johnny, di ever tell you about the great king of Googum? I was in Googum when he died, and I asked the Prime Minister and the High Priest might I make a few remarks at the grave. The Prime said he guessed it would be all right if I wouldnt take up a colection, and the High said he would be mighty glad if I would relieve him of a sacred duty, cause he wanted to go a fishin. So on the day of the funeral I went to the grave. Johnny, you have frequent saw in the news papers a large audience discribed as ‘a sea of up turned faces.’ It was that way there. But, Johnny, the up turned faces was all detatched from their respective bodies! “Bime by the Prime came. I swallered my feel as well as I could and said: ‘I spose this is the custom of the country.’ “The Prime he said: ‘Yes, when the king dies we try for to make it a occasion of public sorry.’ “Then I said: ‘Where is my audience?’ “The Prime he said: ‘Ime him.’ “I said: ‘How about the mourners?’ “The Prime he said: ‘All them which we could catch are here, exceptin the public executor, which is tired and has gone home. Ile fetch him if you would like to make his acquaint.’ “I thought a while, then I said: ‘No, dont deprive him of his much needed rest. I met him in Illinoy.’ “Then the Prime looked at his watch and said: ‘It is time for you to begin the remarks.’ “Then I rose my self up to my full highness and looked him in the eye, like I was a eagle, and said: ‘The only remarks which I feel inspired for to make is that of all the gum dasted galoots and cantankers that I ever met you are the head center, the xtreme limit, the farthest north! If I had had you over in New Jersey, where your cries couldnt be heard up at the mercy seat, Ide lambaste you til your unbelievin soul would quit its tennement of mud and fly to evils that it knows not of!’ “Then, Johnny, I departed out of that place of wrath and tears by leaps and bounds and came back to the land of the free, where a feller which behaves hisself neednt hold his head on with both hands, where the Repubcan party scatters peace and plenty of offices oer a smilin land, and where if the Presdent was to die every day of his life a other would be elected without sacrificial rites.” But if the public xecutor would come for to cut my head off cause the king died I would cleave him into twain! THE TOOTSY WOOTSY Uncle Ned he said: “Johnny, you have wrote about all the other quadpeds which roam the plain, but I guess you have forgot the tootsy wootsy.” I said what was it like, and Uncle Ned he said, Uncle Ned did: “It isnt like any thing which is on the earth, or in the heavens under the earth, or in the whisky and water which is all over the earth, but jest get your pencil and write what I say about it, for I have been in Pattigony and seen it in its natif wild.”