The Injin spoke up and said: “Yes, events did move pretty rapid them days, but it wasn’t real progress like 20 dollars a week, for to do a scalp dance in a show.” The buf he wank his eye and said: “Ime fairly comfortable too, only but jest when I have a pain in the stomach of my belly from too much clover.” But if I was a buflo I rather be a rain deer and gallop oer the snow beneath the aurory boryalis, hooray! Uncle Ned he said: “Johnny, do you know how Mister Jonnice, which has the wood leg, lost his meat one?” I said: “Yessir, it was bit off by a cracky dile, and pulled out by a shark, and amptated for to cure the go out, and flang off when he ran after the fleein enemies at Gettysburg.” Uncle Ned he said: “My boy, you have been listenin to him instead of consultin the best authoritys. Mister Jonnice was one time huntin bufloes in Wyoming, and he had slottered so many he was tired, so he lay down on a rock for to rest. Pretty soon a kioty came along, and the ki showed his teeths and said, ironicle: ‘Lets hunt together.’ “Mister Jonnice said: ‘Ide like to, but the fact is Ime about to go away, a leavin you so far behind that we cant.’ “Then Mister Jonnice he departed, mighty awkward but surprisin fast, and disapeared over the horizon. The ki he looked a while, and then he said: ‘All right, if I cant get what I want Ile take what I can get, and a half of a loaf is better than nothing to eat.’ “So the ki it et Mister Jonnices leg every little tiny bit up. “You see, Johnny, when the convsation began the leg was asleep, and Mister Jonnice hadnt time for to wake it up, but bein a brave man he had hopped away without it.” But the zeebry is the swiftest thing which is in the world, and the hi potamus roars like he was a brigdier general, and then the rhi nosey rose winks his eye, much as to say: “Hark, I hear a angel sing.” SHEEPS The he sheep is a ram and the she is a you and the little feller is lambs. Lambs is playful, and when the sun is shinin warm in the spring they turn out and have a stunnin good time, and thats why The Bible it says for to go it while you are young. When a sheep has been sheared it doesnt look very civilized, more like it was sick. Mister Gipple says one time a scientifical feller he surprised a young you which had been sheared the first time, and she blushed so rosy that he wrote to the presdent of his college: “I have discovered a new specie of red dog, which I have named _Canis rubicutis_, make me a professor of animals, with a salary of one thousand hundred dollars a year and board.” But my sister she can turn real red too when I tell her that bitin her young man isnt fair play. A old you she had a labm, and one day she was sheared. When the labm it came to her for to get its dinner it stopped and looked at her a while, and then it backed away and made a bow, much as to say: “I beg your pardon, I didnt know you was that way. I will wait.”