AMBITIOUS MARINER (_aside_): They think me half seas over. That’s all right— I’m full, but what I’m full of is just fight. (_Aloud, scowling_): Some sailor men—rough fellows from the fleet— Followed me here. They’re waiting in the street. They’re loyal, but in temper they’re unsteady And [_goes to the window and speaks out_] Gridley, you may fire when you are ready. [_Cannon within. Exeunt, hurriedly, Incumbent and Born Candidate._] That’s all—I never had the least intention Of facing a political convention. AT SANTIAGO _Toral. Shafter._ TORAL—Ah, Señor, it was an anxious night—that of July 2. The angel of sleep did not visit me, and my pillow—I shame not to say it—was wet with tears. SHAFTER—Me too. I never swore so much in my life. I tried every way to sleep, but couldn’t make it go. TOR.—How sad! Señor, we are no longer enemies, and we are alone. May I hope that Heaven will put it into your heart to tell me why _you_ slept not that unhappy night? SH.—That’s an easy one: I had made up my mind to demand your surrender. TOR.—Ah, what a tender heart; what sensibility! It pained you, the thought of humiliating me. SH.—Not a bit of it; what worried me was the fear that you would refuse. TOR.—And then there would be such—what you call effusion of blood. You are all compassion. SH.—Effusion of nothing. If you did not surrender to me I was going to surrender to you. My army was rotten with fever. Now what kept _you_ awake, old man? TOR.—The fear that you would surrender first. God o’ my soul!—we could not eat you! A CABINET CONFERENCE _Hay, Secretary of State. Root, Secretary of War. Long, Secretary of the Navy._ HAY—Ah, glad to see you, gentlemen; punctuality is the politeness of princes. I feared we should have to postpone this Conference. LONG—Perhaps it would have been better. The newspapers have learned about it. As I entered there were seven hundred and fifty correspondents outside the door! ROOT—The Navy Department is ever liberal in its estimates. LONG—I’ll swear there are not fewer than a dozen; you saw them yourself. ROOT—Not I. I entered by way of the chimney. HAY—It is useless to try to conceal our movements; they learn everything. LONG—It is to be hoped they will not learn the purpose of this Conference. HAY—That will depend on your discretion; mine is unquestionable. ROOT—Is the door locked? HAY—Sure, and the keyhole stuffed. We are absolutely inaccessible to the curiosity of the vulgar. LONG—Blast their tarry—— HAY—Mr. Secretary, I beg that you will not swear. Remember that the President is a pillar of the church. ROOT—What church? HAY (_scratching the head of the State Department_)—I’m damned if I know. I belong myself to the Church of England.