LONG—Let us proceed to business; the crisis waits. HAY—Gentlemen (_opening secret drawer in table_), I have the honor to put before you a—[_tumult within and beating of sticks on the door_.] What’s that? ROOT—The Filipinos!—the Filipinos! Where is Corbin? LONG—Sounds like the Democratic party. HAY—Ah, I forgot; it is the correspondents. I have the honor to put before you, with appropriate glasses, a bottle of pure Kentucky Bourbon fifty-five years old—a gift from Governor Taylor to the President. As the President drinks nothing—— LONG—What! ROOT—What! HAY—He drinks nothing from this bottle. I intercepted it. [_They drink and repeat. The Conference adjourns. Exeunt omnes. Enter the Public Press._] THE PUBLIC PRESS—There was a consultation at the State Department this afternoon among Secretaries Hay, Root and Long, the latter two of whom had been sent for in great haste. Extraordinary precautions to secure secrecy were taken, but it is understood that German aggression in Brazil was discussed, and nothing is more certain than that the next few days will witness grave and startling movements of our war ships in both the North and the South Atlantic. Senator Lodge’s recent alarming speech on the Navy Appropriation Bill is recalled, in connection with this subject, as is also Senator Pettigrew’s significant silence. Nor is it forgotten that last week there was a persistent rumor that the Government was about to consider the advisability of taking a step of which the importance could be determined only by its character and result. AN INDEMNITY _McKinley, the President. Hay, Secretary of State. The Czar of Russia. The Sultan of Turkey. Ali Feroush Bey, the Turkish Minister._ ACT I MCKINLEY—John, have the goodness to say to the Turkish Minister that unless his Government pays up we shall send a fleet to the Dardanelles. HAY—Yes, but would it not be better to say _through_ the Dardanelles? MCK.—I don’t know about that. One does not like to promise more than one may be able to perform. Admiral Dewey tells me there is a doubt about getting through; the strait is fortified at every turn. H.—Why, Admiral Dewey said, _àpropos_ of the Nicaragua canal, that fortifications were worthless—that they only invited attack! MCK.—That was when he was standing by the Administration. He is now an aspirant to the Presidency, and dares to say what he thinks. H. (_aside_)—Great Scott! I’d give ten years of life—nay, more: six weeks of office—for the same courage. MCK.—John, what are you muttering in your beard? H.—A prayer for your health. MCK. (_aside_)—Ah, yes, I suffer from Hay fever. [_Observing him about to sneeze, Hay gives himself the happiness of taking snuff._] ACT II HAY—I greet your Excellency with rapture. ALI FEROUSH BEY—May your wives be as the leaves of the forest.