What’s this? “The Adversary.” Just my luck— Without a rake I get all kinds of muck. Always that Democrat appears if I But mention him—I really wonder why. Of one too many he’s the one. Go say (_sighing_) That I’ll not see him—I’ve seen Shonts to-day. LOEB: The gentleman is in the waiting room. I think he wants to talk about your “boom.” PRESIDENT: Wants an appointment in my Cabinet, And there’s no vacancy. LOEB: O you forget— There’s Hitchcock. [_Enter Adversary._] PRESIDENT: Ah, good morning, sir. Delighted! (_aside_) The fellow never waits till he’s invited. ADVERSARY: Sir, we have overlooked the unwritten law Forbidding a third term. You must withdraw. PRESIDENT (_aside_): Come to torment me! How this horrid shape, Grinning behind his hand like any ape, Maddens to candor. (_Aloud_) Brute! you might delay Your triumph until I have had my day And nations weep, in slow procession walking—— ADVERSARY: For him who dug the great canal by talking! ’Twere long to wait unless your tongue were made By miracle divine into a spade. PRESIDENT: Take that, you beast! [_Beats him and chases him off the stage, losing his temper in the scuffle._] LOEB (_solus_): The rogues fall out—_sic semper_. As honest man, I will annex his temper. [_Puts President’s temper under his coat and exit._] ACT II THE PRESS (_solum_): The President “received” last night—all smiles, Charming the throng with amiable wiles. But Loeb, with flaming eyes and flying feet, Sprang in and kicked them all into the street! TWO FAVORITES _Wood, a Medicated Warrior._ _Miles, a Soldier._ _Satan, a Statesman._ _Chorus of Citizens._ MILES (_to Wood_): Sir, I have ventured to observe with what I hope is a becoming modesty, that not In vain have been your sacrifices, nor Quite thrown away your aptitude for war. Service and genius—these are things that count, With (if you’re cavalry) the skill to mount. Somewhat, too, doubtless, it promotes your gains In rank and honors to possess the brains To know enough to go in when it rains. WOOD: Some know enough to note the fine effect Of sunshine on their uniform. MILES: