Correct: I’ve keener joy to see the daybeam smite My gay attire than you to see it light Your military record. Let’s get through— I’d rather bandy swords than words with you. But you’re a man of peace—a doctor, sir; To save life, not to take it, you prefer; And in the Spanish War your taste was shown In saving with consummate skill your own. By that you earned, according to my notion, More leather medals, not so much promotion. CHORUS OF CITIZENS: By that he earned, according to our notion, More leather medals, not so much promotion. MILES: When you’re a general in chief command, May peace dwell ever in this happy land! CHORUS OF CITIZENS: When he’s a general in chief command, May peace dwell ever in this happy land! WOOD: From Santiago’s veins I drained the fever. MILES: When shown by Lawton how to make it leave her. WOOD: I washed Havana. MILES: Yes, you made the mud flow Right lively when you had been taught by Ludlow. WOOD: My service—— MILES: ’Twas of silver, was it not?— Given you by gamblers for the Lord knows what! Well, take your honors—they’re well earned, I think, By working for yourself with printer’s ink And feats of fawning—all the arts, in fine, Whereby our peace-time heroes rise and shine. Rather than witness more of your intrigues I’ll mount a bronco and ride thirty leagues! WOOD: Well, two Administrations, you’ll agree, I have been served and honored by. SATAN: Dear me, I’ve had the favor and support of three. A DIPLOMATIC TRIUMPH _President Roosevelt._ _Secretary of State Hay._ THE PRESIDENT—Say, John, I wish you would see the Chinese Minister and tell him that Russia is complaining that China does not observe a strict neutrality. Tell him that she is imperiling her administrative entity. SECRETARY HAY—I have already done so, sir; and I ventured to add that an oyster schooner that had just arrived from below had a very large mast. THE P.—What the dickens had that to do with it? S. H.—Ah, you are not skilled in the language of diplomacy; it was an oblique reference to the “big stick.” The Chink understood; he was born on one of the days before yesterday. THE P.—And what did he say? S. H.—Everything: put his hands into his long sleeves, crossed them on his breast and bowed three times, profoundly silent. Then he retired. THE P.—I am from Wyoming and you’ll have to explain.