Merciful heaven! My “life’s romance!” What, what! When was my life romantic, if you please? MISS JAY. I never said so. STIVER. Witness disagrees. STRAWMAN. That I have ever swerved a single jot From social prescript,—is a monstrous lie. FALK. Good. [_Clapping_ STIVER _on the shoulder_. Here’s a friend who will not put me by. We’ll start with Stiver’s lyric ecstasies. STIVER [_after a glance of horror at_ STRAWMAN]. Are you quite mad! Nay then I must be heard! You dare accuse me for a poet— MISS JAY. How—! FALK. Your office has averred it anyhow. STIVER [_in towering anger_]. Sir, by our office nothing is averred. FALK. Well, leave me then, you also: I have by me One comrade yet whose loyalty will last. “A true heart’s story” Lind will not deny me, Whose troth’s too tender for the ocean blast, Who for his mistress makes surrender of His fellow-men—pure quintessence of Love! MRS. HALM. My patience, Mr. Falk, is now worn out. The same abode no longer can receive us:— I beg of you this very day to leave us— FALK [_with a bow as_ MRS. HALM _and the company withdraw_]. That this would come I never had a doubt! STRAWMAN. Between us two there’s battle to the death; You’ve slandered me, my wife, nay little flock, From Molly down to Millie, in one breath. Crow on, crow on—Emancipation’s cock,— [_Goes in, followed by his wife and children._ FALK. And go you on observing Peter’s faith To Love your lord—who, thanks to your advice, Was thrice denied before the cock crew thrice! MISS JAY [_turning faint_]. Attend me, Stiver! help me get unlaced My corset—this way, this way—do make haste! STIVER [_to_ FALK _as he withdraws with_ MISS JAY _on his arm_]. I here renounce your friendship. LIND. I likewise. FALK [_seriously_]. You too, my Lind? LIND. Farewell. FALK. You were my nearest one— LIND.