The collector's whatnot : $b a compendium, manual, and syllabus of information and advice on all subjects appertaining to the collection of antiques, both ancient and not so ancientTarkington, Booth
General
The collector's whatnot : $b a compendium, manual, and syllabus of information and advice on all subjects appertaining to the collection of antiques, both ancient and not so ancient
Tarkington, Booth
Antiques -- Humor
It was typical of her, this combination of prodigality and thrift—the
distinguishing characteristic, as Professor Kilgallen has so often
said, of the true antiquer. Without knowing why she did it, my mother
could and did perform prodigies of economy to lavish the slow, niggard
savings in which they fruited on the gratification of her driving,
dominant passion for that which, she must have realized, would be one
day an antique. It was what we learned to expect of her, my father and
I; he complained only covertly, when our Thanksgiving dinner revealed
itself to be the usual baked beans and pork, and cautioned me with
emphasis against repeating in my mother’s hearing the remarks he
permitted himself on the subject in the relative privacy of the shop.
As zealously as my father his Grant cuspidors, so did my mother cherish
and guard the images of the exhorters. They stood like tutelary saints
at either extreme of our mantel-shelf, dusted by no hands but her own,
at once the pride and solace of her lot. In spite of breath-stopping
offers—among them the blank, signed check tendered me by Cornelius
Obenchain Van Loot in person—I have never brought myself to part with
them, although, having now become obvious antiques, they possess but a
purely sentimental interest for me.
So, too, have I preserved the glass cane which our journeyman barber, a
roving, sportive soul, brought with him from the Centennial Exposition
at Philadelphia, during the closing days of the fruitful Grant Period.
I cannot forget the intensity with which my mother thirsted for
possession of this trophy; she gave the adventurous journeyman no peace
until he consented to part with it, taking payment in the laundering of
his stiff-bosomed shirt, which, indulging a taste for display perhaps
out of harmony with his station, he rarely wore more than a week
without having it restarched and ironed.
The cane, affixed with a bow of wide red ribbon to our parlor wall,
became, presently, a proof that our family had visited the Centennial.
I held my tongue in the presence of impressed visitors, learning
swiftly to avoid the unstimulating truth and, no doubt, even then in
vague, secret sympathy with my mother’s aspirations. She must invent
a reason for buying a thing at once so impractical and so little
decorative; she did not guess that she saw in it an antique beyond
price; perforce she explained her purchase on the disingenuous and
unworthy ground that folks would be bound to think we’d went there and
bought it right off them glass-blowers our own-selves. But I knew. I
understood. Even then, I must believe, I was an antiquer ahead.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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