If, in passing a New-England farmhouse, you see a fine piece of old furniture through the open front doorway [which is not probable, as the front doors are seldom used], or if perchance you spy upon the veranda, or in the fairway beside the barn, some rare old bit of glass, a bow-backed pine Windsor chair, a tambo-door sideboard, or a hooked rug, or any other article you may wish to purchase, it will be well for you not to approach the subject directly, but in a somewhat roundabout manner, as the peasants of this section are [on account of bitter experience] extremely suspicious of strangers; and if they perceive that you wish to buy anything of them, they are likely to become instantly so fond of the object of your desire that they will decline to part with it; or they may get the notion that you are connected with the prohibition enforcement laws and are merely disguising your real interest in how hard their cider has turned. Therefore the editors have asked me to prepare a few model dialogues which may be found useful in this connection. The form of approach suggested can profitably be studied by the motorist collector. DIALOGUE ONE [_Mr. B., a Chicago collector of hooked rugs, has observed a fine specimen hanging on a clothes-line beside a New Hampshire farmhouse. Mr. B. descends from his car and approaches the proprietor, who is sawing wood near the kitchen wing._] _Mr. B._: Good-morning. I stopped to inquire if you have a calf for sale. _Peasant_: Did ye? _Mr. B._: I am willing to pay quite a good price for an original she-calf in fair condition. _Peasant_: Be ye? _Mr. B._: I would pay $350 for a really excellent she-calf. _Peasant_: Let’s see the money. _Mr. B._ [_displaying the sum mentioned_]: But _have_ you such a calf? _Peasant_: Yes; but I wouldn’t never sell her under $355. _Mr. B._: Done with you at $355! Go fetch her. But stay;—I have nothing to wrap her in. _Peasant_: What ye want to wrap her fer? _Mr. B._ [_laughing graciously_]: It is customary in the city to wrap all purchased articles, and besides she might take cold. Let me see what you have to wrap this she-calf in. Ah! There is a worthless old hooked rug. _That_ will do to wrap my purchase in. _Peasant_: Well, I don’t know. That there rug’s wuth somethin’. I’ll have to charge ye two dollars extry for the rug. _Mr. B._ [_restraining his excitement, handing the peasant $2.00 and removing the rug from the clothes-line_]: Very well. I hereby purchase the rug; and upon second thoughts I find I have no definitely pressing need for a she-calf at this time. Good-morning and the best of luck to you! [Illustration: OLD NEW ENGLAND PRINT OF THE FIRST MEETING OF THE AMERICAN ACADEMY FOR THE POPULARIZATION OF ANTIQUITIES From the collection of Miss Cora Kilgallen Brütche, of Appleby, Pa., two (and possibly three) of whose ancestors took part in the meeting. ] DIALOGUE II