The Colloquies of Edward Osborne, Citizen and Clothworker of LondonManning, Anne
History
The Colloquies of Edward Osborne, Citizen and Clothworker of London
Manning, Anne
Biographical fiction; London (England) -- History -- 16th century -- Fiction; Osborne, Edward, 1530?-1591 -- Fiction
Thereupon the Door is opened, but not by _Tib_; and my Master, collaring
_Miles_, strikes him, but not so severely as for him to do what he did,
which was to fall all along on the Ground and emit one or two hollow
Grones. Master _Hewet_, witting him to be scarce hurt, waxed very angry,
and pulling him up, would know how he got out, but _Miles_ would not
tell. Then he would know why he called on _Tib_ through the Keyhole, as
though expecting her to be at Hand; and he made Answer, Because her Name
came readiest, and he was less afeard of her than of any else, but she
wist not of his being out. My Master said, That should be seen to, and
how did he get the Key? He said Mistress _Fraunces_ had forgotten to
take it up. But Mistress _Fraunces_, when called up, remembered well to
have laid it on her Toilette ere she went to Bed, and was avised _Tib_
must have fetched it while she was asleep. But, on going to _Tib_,
Mistress _Fraunces_ found her sleeping so heavily, that after much
shaking, all she could get out of her was, "Thieves! Thieves!" So the
Matter stood over; Master _Hewet_ putting it to _Miles_ whether he wist
not that he might have him up before the Wardens, and see him hardly
dealt with. So _Miles_ came back to his Bed, sullen enough.
But a Woman's own Tongue is oft her worst Enemy. The next Morning,
though Nothing could be got out of _Miles_ nor of _Tib_, yet Mistress
_Fraunces_, being in her own Bed-chamber, instead of at Market, as _Tib_
supposed, hears _Tib_, who was concluded to be making my Master's Bed, a
talking from his Window to the Maid in the corresponding Window across
the Strete. And although, by Reason of the two Tenements being so very
few Feet apart in their upper Stories, there was hardly need for _Tib_
to speak above her Breath, yet Mistress _Fraunces_, quickened by
Curiosity, could hear almost every Word, and how that _Tib_ had come
into her Chamber when she was asleep, and took the Key and lent it to
_Miles_, who had promised her a tawdry Ribbon for it: and how the
Watchman saw him go forth, and aroused my Master, who set on him when he
returned, and beat him within an Inch of his Life. And how Mistress
_Fraunces_—But here Mistress _Fraunces_ spoiled all, in her Anxiety to
hear the Particulars of her own Character; for, advancing a little too
near the Casement, that she might not lose a Syllable, she was caught
Sight of by the Neighbour's Maid, who, without Doubt, made a Signal to
_Tib_. Whereupon, _Tib_, after a Moment's Pause, added, and how that if
Mistress _Fraunces_ were not the sweetest and mercifullest of Ladies,
there would be no Chance of her forgiving such a Misdeed when she came
to hear it, as _Tib_ meant she should the very first Time she could find
Heart to confess it to the sweetest and best of Ladies.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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