"I liked your father. I admired him. He took a long chance, and it
killed him. I could have stopped him, I should have stopped him, but how
could I? Where did I have the right to stop him, after what I did
to--" he stopped, almost in mid-word, as if a switch had been turned.
But Bart was not listening. He swung away, striding to the wall as if he
would kick it in, striking it with his two clenched fists, his whole
being in revolt. _Dad, oh, Dad! I kept going, I thought at the end of it
you'd be here and it would all be over. But here I am at the end of it
all, and you're not here, you won't ever be here again._
Dimly, he knew when Raynor Three rose and left him alone. He leaned his
head on his clenched fists, and cried.
After a long time he raised his head and blew his nose, his face setting
itself in new, hard, unaccustomed lines, slowly coming to terms with the
hard, painful reality. His father was dead. His dangerous,
dead-in-earnest game of escape had no happy ending of reunion with his
father. They couldn't sit together and laugh about how scared he had
been. His father was _dead_, and he, Bart, was alone and in danger. His
face looked very grim indeed, and years older than he was.
After a long time Raynor Three opened the door quietly. "Come and have
something to eat, Bart."
"I'm not hungry."
"Well, I am," Raynor Three said, "and you ought to be. You'll need it."
He pulled knobs and the appropriate tables and chairs extruded
themselves from the walls. Raynor unsealed hot cartons and spread them
on the table, saying lightly, "Looks good--not that I can claim any
credit, I subscribe to a food service that delivers them hot by
pneumatic tube."
Bart felt sickened by the thought of eating, but when he put a polite
fork in the food, he discovered that he was famished and ate up
everything in sight. When they had finished, Raynor dumped the cartons
into a disposal chute, went to a small portable bar and put a glass into
his hand.
"Drink this."
Bart touched his lips to the glass, made a face and put it away.
"Thanks, but I don't drink."
"Call it medicine, you'll need something," Raynor Three said crossly.
"I've got a lot to tell you, and I don't want you going off half-primed
in the middle of a sentence. If you'd rather have a shot of
tranquilizer, all right; otherwise, I prescribe that you drink what I
gave you." He gave Bart a quick, wry grin. "I really am a medic, you
know."
Feeling like a scolded child, Bart drank. It burned his mouth, but after
it was down, he felt a sort of warm burning in his insides that
gradually spread a sense of well-being all through him. It wasn't
alcohol, but whatever it was, it had quite a kick.
"Thanks," he muttered. "Why are you taking this trouble, Raynor? There
must be danger--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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