"Our friend Richmond is about as truthful as he is complimentary,"
Mortimer replied.
"Yes," said Richmond, "but if I were no more complimentary than you
are truthful, I should have a slam for everybody."
"Oh, ho, ho, no," McGlenn cried, and Richmond shouted: "Oh, I have
been robbed."
Henry looked about for the cause of this commotion and saw a smiling
man, portly and impressive, coming toward them with a dignified mince
in his walk. And Mr. Flummers was introduced with half-humorous
ceremony. He had rather a pleasant expression of countenance, and men
who were well acquainted with him said that he had, though not so long
of arm, an extensive reach for whisky. He was of impressive size, with
a sort of Napoleonic head; and when hot on the trail of a drink, his
voice held a most unctuous solicitude. He was exceedingly annoying to
some people and was a source of constant delight to others. At one
time he had formed the habit of being robbed, and later on he was
drugged; but no one could conjecture what he would next add to his
repertory. His troubles were amusing, his difficulties were humorous,
his failures were laughable, and his sorrows were the cause for jest.
He had a growing paunch, and when he stood he leaned back slightly as
though his rotund front found ease in exhibition. As a law student he
had aimed a severe blow at justice, and failing as an attorney, he had
served his country a good turn. As a reporter he wrote with a torch,
and wrote well. All his utterances were declamatory; and he had a set
of scallopy gestures that were far beyond the successful mimicry of
his fellows. The less he thought the more wisely he talked. Meditation
hampered him, and like a rabbit, he was generally at his best when he
first "jumped up."
He shook hands with Henry, looked at him a moment and asked: "Are you
going to run a newspaper with all those old geysers you've got over
there?"
The new member winced.
"Don't pay any attention to Flummers," John Richmond said.
"Oh, yes," Flummers insisted. "You see, I know all those fellows. Some
of them were worn out ten years ago--but say, are you paying anything
over there?"
"Yes, paying as much as any paper in the town."
"That's the stuff; but say, you can afford it. Who rang the bell? Did
anybody ring? Boy," (speaking to a waiter), "we ought to have
something to drink here."
"Do _you_ want to pay for it?" Richmond asked.
"Oh, ho, ho, no, I'm busted. I've set 'em up two or three times
to-day."
"Why, you stuffed buffalo robe, you"--
"Oh, well, it was the other day, then. I'm all the time buying the
drinks. If it weren't for me you geysers would dry up. Say, John,
touch the bell."
"Wait," said Henry. "Have something with me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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