"Beware of dreams! Beware of water!" she repeated to herself,
remembering with difficulty who had told her that. And suddenly,
Janina became pale and reeled back for such a chaos began to whirl
in her brain that she thought she would go mad . . . .
For a long time she sat in a senseless torpor and wept without being
able to restrain herself, for after partly regaining her
consciousness the memory of all her sufferings and disappointments
came back to her again. At last utterly worn out, and, lulled by the
silence that enveloped the theater after the rehearsal, she fell
asleep.
She was awakened by Rosinska who on that day had come earlier to the
dressing-room, for she was to begin the play. When she saw the
sleeping girl, the older actress was moved to pity. The remaining
shreds of her womanhood covered by the artificiality of theatrical
life, awoke in her at the sight of that pale face, worn by poverty
and dejection.
"Miss Janina--" whispered Rosinska tenderly.
Janina arose and began nervously to wipe away the traces of tears
from her face.
"Have you not seen Mr. Niedzielski?" she asked Rosinska.
"No. My poor child, so that is what they have done to you! But you
must not take it so much to heart. If you want to be an artist you
must bear a great deal, suffer a great deal. My dear, if you only
knew what I had to go through and still have to. If you wanted to
grieve over all the afflictions that come to you, become irritated
over all the gossip they spread about you or weep over every
intrigue in which they try to entangle you, you would have neither
any tears, nor eyes, nor strength left! There's no use crying over
it, for things can't be any different in the theater! Moreover, you
haven't lost anything by it! That one disappointment makes you
richer by one more experience."
"Perhaps they are right, after all. I must have no talent whatever,
if Cabinski took away the role from me . . . ."
"It is just because you have a talent that they played this trick on
you. I heard what the cousin of that amateur said at the first
rehearsal."
"What good will all that do me, when I can't play and have nothing
to live on."
"That is all the doing of Majkowska. She forced Cabinski to take the
role away from you."
"I know she bears me a grudge, but I can't conceive why she should
revenge herself in such an inhuman way!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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