"Many sorrows shall be to the wicked, but he that trusteth in the
Lord, mercy shall compass him about."
"My lovers and my friends stand aloof from my sore and my kinsmen
stand afar off."
"They also that seek after my life lay snares for me; and they that
seek for my hurt speak mischievous things and imagine deceits all
day long."
The words rang out ever stronger and eddied through the air like the
breath of a mighty power that bent low all foreheads and cast them
down into the dust with tears of sorrow, penance, and supplication.
All those present repeated them after the old man and that confused,
tearful and monotonous murmur of voices awoke Janina from her
torpor. She felt that she was still alive, so she knelt down on the
threshold of the room and with fever-parched lips whispered those
sweet words long since forgotten, and drew from them a deep comfort
full of sadness and tenderness.
"Purge me with hyssop and I shall be clean; wash me and I shall be
whiter than snow."
"Hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down
into the pit."
"And of thy mercy cut off mine enemies, and destroy all them that
afflict my soul, for I am thy servant."
She repeated the words fervently and large tears rolled down her
face, uniting with the tears of all the other mourners and purging
her soul of all sorrows and memory of what had passed. But after a
while those tears began to stream so freely and stifle her so that
Janina quietly arose and left the place.
On the street she met Wladek running toward the house in haste and
fear. He stopped to ask her about his mother, but she went on
without even glancing at him.
Almost all feelings were dead within Janina, save that of a deathly
weariness. She entered the lighted Church of St. Ann on the Cracow
Suburb and, seating herself in one of the pews, gazed at the
illuminated altar and the throng of kneeling worshipers. She heard
the solemn tones of the organ and a wave of song rising above it.
She saw looking at her from the walls and the altars the peaceful
and happy faces of saints, but all this did not awaken a single
emotion in her.
"Thou wilt cut off mine enemies and destroy all them that afflict my
soul. Thou wilt destroy them . . ." Janina repeated mechanically and
left the church. No, no, she could not pray she could not.
Janina slept after all this with a deep, stony sleep that was free
from dreams.
On the following day Cabinski gave her a big role that used to be
Mimi's. Janina accepted it with indifference. With the same
indifference she went to Niedzielska's funeral. She walked at the
end of the procession unnoticed by anyone and gazed indifferently at
the thousands of graves in the cemetery and at the coffin and not a
scintilla of feeling stirred in her even at the sound of the sobbing
over the grave. Something had broken within her and she had lost all
ability to feel what was going on about her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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