GETA. Our young spark Play'd no mad pranks at first: but Phaedria Got him immediately a music-girl: Fond of her to distraction! she belong'd To a most avaricious, sordid pimp; Nor had we aught to give;--th' old gentleman Had taken care of that. Naught else remain'd, Except to feed his eyes, to follow her, To lead her out to school, and hand her home. We too, for lack of other business, gave Our time to Phaedria. Opposite the school, Whither she went to take her lessons, stood A barber's shop, wherein most commonly We waited her return. Hither one day Came a young man in tears: we were amaz'd, And ask'd the cause. Never (said he, and wept) Did I suppose the weight of poverty A load so sad, _so_ insupportable, As it appear'd but now.--I saw but now, Not far from hence, a miserable virgin Lamenting her dead mother. Near the corpse She sat; nor friend, nor kindred, nor acquaintance, Except one poor old woman, was there near To aid the funeral. I pitied her: Her beauty, too, was exquisite.--In short, He mov'd us all: and Antipho at once Cried, "Shall we go and visit her?"--Why, aye, "I think so," said the other; "let us go!" "Conduct us, if you please."--We went, arriv'd. And saw her.--Beautiful she was indeed! More justly to be reckon'd so, for she Had no additions to set off her beauty. Her hair dishevel'd, barefoot, woe-begone, In tears, and miserably clad: that if The life and soul of beauty had not dwelt Within her very form, all these together Must have extinguish'd it.--The spark, possess'd Already with the music-girl, just cried, "She's well enough."--But our young gentleman---- DAVUS. Fell, I suppose, in love. GETA. In love, indeed. But mark the end! next day, away he goes To the old woman straight, beseeching her To let him have the girl.--"Not she, indeed! Nor was it like a gentleman," she said, "For him to think on't: She's a citizen, An honest girl, and born of honest parents:---- If he would marry her indeed, by law He might do _that_; on no account, aught else." --Our spark, distracted, knew not what to do: At once he long'd to marry her, at once Dreaded his absent father. DAVUS. Would not he, Had he return'd, have giv'n consent? GETA. To wed A girl of neither family nor fortune? Never. DAVUS. What then? GETA. What then! There is a parasite, One Phormio, a bold, enterprising fellow, Who--all the Gods confound him!---- DAVUS. What did he? GETA. Gave us the following counsel.--"There's a law That orphan Girls should wed their next of kin, Which law obliges too their next of kin To marry them."--I'll say that you're her kinsman, And sue a writ against you. I'll pretend To be her father's friend, and bring the cause Before the judges. Who her father was, Her mother who, and how she's your relation, All this sham evidence I'll forge; by which The cause will turn entirely in my favor. You shall disprove no tittle of the charge; So I succeed.--Your father will return; Prosecute me;--what then?--The girl's our own."