The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and OdditiesThackeray, William Makepeace
Philosophy
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Almanacs, English -- England -- London; English wit and humor
Tired at last, and turned in to the
_Dog and Partridge_ to get a snack. Landlord laughed, and asked how ve
vos hoff for tumblers. Didn't understand him, but got some waluable
hinformation about loading our guns; vich he strongly recommended mixing
the powder and shot well up together before putting into the barrel; and
showed Figgins how to charge his percussion; vich, being Figgins's first
attempt under the new system, he had made the mistake of putting a
charge of copper caps into the barrel instead of sticking von of 'em
atop of the touch-hole.—Left the _Dog and Partridge_, and took a
north-easterly direction, so as to have the adwantage of the vind on our
backs. Dogs getting wery riotous, and refusing to answer to Figgins's
vhistle, vich had unfortunately got a pea in it.—Getting over an edge
into a field, Hicks's gun haccidentally hexploded, and shot Wiggins
behind; and my gun going off hunexpectedly at the same moment, singed
avay von of my viskers and blinded von of my heyes.—Carried Wiggins back
to the inn: dressed his wound, and rubbed my heye with cherry brandy and
my visker vith bear's grease.—Sent poor W. home by a short stage, and
resumed our sport.—Heard some pheasants crowing by the side of a
plantation. Resolved to stop their cockadoodledooing, so set off at a
jog-trot. Passing thro' a field of bone manure, the dogs unfortunately
set to work upon the bones, and we couldn't get 'em to go a step further
at no price. Got vithin gun-shot of two of the birds, vich Higgins said
they vos two game cocks: but Hicks, who had often been to Vestminster
Pit, said no sitch thing; as game cocks had got short square tails, and
smooth necks, and long military spurs; and these had got long curly
tails, and necks all over hair, and scarce any spurs at all. Shot at 'em
as pheasants, and believe we killed 'em both; but, hearing some orrid
screams come out of the plantation immediately hafter, ve all took to
our 'eels and ran avay vithout stopping to pick either of 'em up.—After
running about two miles, Hicks called out to stop, as he had hobserved a
covey of wild ducks feeding on a pond by the road side. Got behind a
haystack and shot at the ducks, vich svam avay hunder the trees. Figgins
wolunteered to scramble down the bank, and hook out the dead uns vith
the but-hend of his gun. Unfortunately bank failed, and poor F. tumbled
up to his neck in the pit. Made a rope of our pocket hankerchiefs, got
it round his neck, and dragged him to the _Dog and Doublet_, vere ve had
him put to bed, and dried. Werry sleepy with the hair and hexercise, so
after dinner took a nap a-piece.—Woke by the landlord coming in to know
if ve vos the gentlemen as had shot the hunfortunate nurse-maid and
child in Mr. Smithville's plantation. Swore ve knew nothing about it,
and vile the landlord vas gone to deliver our message, got out of the
back vindow, and ran avay across the fields. At the end of a mile, came
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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