suddenly upon a strange sort of bird, vich Hicks declared to be the cock-of-the-woods. Sneaked behind him and killed him. Turned out to be a peacock. Took to our heels again, as ve saw the lord of the manor and two of his servants vith bludgeons coming down the gravel valk towards us. Found it getting late, so agreed to shoot our vay home. Didn't know vere ve vos, but kept going on.—At last got to a sort of plantation, vere ve saw a great many birds perching about. Gave 'em a broadside, and brought down several. Loaded again, and killed another brace. Thought ve should make a good day's vork of it at last, and was preparing to charge again, ven two of the new police came and took us up in the name of the Zolorogical Society, in whose gardens it seems ve had been shooting. Handed off to the Public Hoffice, and werry heavily fined, and werry sewerely reprimanded by the sitting magistrate.—Coming away, met by the landlord of the _Dog and Doublet_, who charged us with running off without paying our shot; and Mr. Smithville, who accused us of man-slaughtering his nurse-maid and child; and, their wounds not having been declared immortal, ve vos sent to spend the night in prison—and thus ended my last First of September." [Illustration: OCTOBER.—Brewing. ] ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ [Illustration] OCTOBER. │ ├──┬──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤ │ │ Hail! honest Toby, who all grumbling hates, │ │ │ Who quaffs his ale, and cheerful pays his rates; │ │ │ Whose faith is fixed and firm,—in stout October,— │ │ │ Who scorns dissent,—except, from being sober; │ │ │ Who swears the cause is best upheld by drinking, │ │ │ Since he who takes to water, takes to thinking; │ │ │ Who designates small beer a public scandal, │ │ │ And knows no heresy but using the pump handle. │ ├──┼─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┬────────────┤ │D.│ =Great Events and Odd Matters.= │_Prognosti- │ │ │ │fications._ │ ├──┼─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┼────────────┤ │ │ │ │ │ 1│ DIALOGUE. │ Now │ │ │ │ │ │ 2│_Customer_: What can I have, waiter?—_Waiter_: What │ lest, │ │ │ would you like, Sir? │ │ │ │_C._ Can you give me a chop, or a steak?—_W._ No, │ │ │ │ Sir. │ │ │ 3│_C._ Any cold meat?—_W._ No. │peradventure│ │ │_C._ Crust of bread and cheese?—_W._ No.