The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and OdditiesThackeray, William Makepeace
Philosophy
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Almanacs, English -- England -- London; English wit and humor
Tho' St. John Long (I said) is gone,—that curer of all ills,—
We still have modest Morison's fam'd Vegetable Pills;
Then think upon the Pension List, where stand, in grand array,
A splendid train, who take their cash on ev'ry "SETTLING DAY."
I own'd that, for the London Cries, we now must ring a knell:
But if we've lost the 'Sweep soot-ho!' we've got the dustman's bell;
Tho' in the street, it is not meet that folks should preach or pray;
Yet Punch may bawl, and singers squall, without a "SETTLING DAY."
My Granny grinn'd a ghastly smile, and let my button go;
"We'll meet again," she said, "and then I'll tell you all my woe:
"You have not heard a twentieth part; but you'll no longer stay."
She vanish'd straight; but all too late;—I lost _my_ "SETTLING DAY."
ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY.
A GENTLEMAN, who is about to proceed to New South Wales, on the public
account, for fourteen years, is desirous of providing a confidential
situation for an active YOUTH, previously to his departure. He is
exceedingly light-fingered, and very dexterous in the conveyance of
property; and, among his other accomplishments, the advertiser can
confidently recommend him for considerable skill in opening locks
without the aid of a key. He has been brought up to the _bar_; and is
_lineally_ descended from the renowned Jerry Abershaw. Most of his
relations have been raised to exalted situations, far above the ordinary
crowd; and, indeed, there is little doubt, that the force of his genius,
if suffered to take its course, will, in time, procure for him the same
degree of elevation. He can refer with confidence for a character to any
of the gentlemen composing that respectable body, the Swell Mob
Association; and the advertiser will be happy to reply to any inquiries,
addressed—PETER PRIG, Esq., at the Stone Jug Hotel, Old Bailey.
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Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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