The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities — John Shaqi
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and OdditiesThackeray, William Makepeace
Philosophy
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Almanacs, English -- England -- London; English wit and humor
_Clause 2._—Provides for weekly tavern dinners for the same; and
stipulates for a bountiful supply of turtle-soup, venison, burgundy,
champagne, hock, claret, and rose-water.
_Clause 3._—Enacts that pensions, of not less than £1000 per annum,
shall be granted to all former Churchwardens and Overseers, as a
compensation for their loss of office; and that they shall each be
raised to the rank of baronet, as a compensation for their loss of
dignity.
_Clause 4._—Enacts that every able-bodied pauper, who can work, shall be
allowed five guineas per week each, and two guineas for each of their
children, illegitimate or otherwise; and should any refractory pauper
refuse this allowance, and prefer breaking stones at a penny per bushel,
he shall be forthwith committed to the custody of the keeper of the
London Tavern, if in the City of London, or of some inn or hotel, if any
other part of the kingdom, and be compelled to feast like an alderman,
till he show symptoms of contrition.
_Clause 5._—That as many paupers may prefer being boarded and lodged,
suitable mansions shall be erected for the purpose, in cheerful and airy
situations; to which governors shall be appointed, to be elected by the
paupers, for the due regulation thereof. And if, on complaint of one or
more of the said paupers, it shall appear, that the said governor hath,
on any occasion, omitted to provide them with all due necessaries, such
as silver forks, doileys, finger-glasses, napkins, or other
indispensable matters; or hath omitted to serve their tea, coffee, or
chocolate, in silver pots, and china cups and saucers; or substituted
plain lump for double-refined lump sugar, or milk for cream, or tallow
for wax candles, or a feather-bed for a down-bed: or neglected to keep
the harp or piano in proper tune, or to furnish clean linen once a day,
(if they desire it, but not otherwise); or presumed to call them out of
bed before twelve at noon, unless specially directed so to do; or
behaved disrespectfully, or omitted to stand uncovered in their
presence, &c. &c. &c. for each and every such offence, the said governor
shall be committed to the tread-mill for not less than six calendar
months.
_Clause 6._—Each pauper, who is a boarder as aforesaid, shall be at
liberty to invite as many friends as he pleases, to a grand dinner
party, to be holden once a week; a concert and ball to be holden twice a
week; and a grand concert and ball to take place four times in the year;
on which occasion, the said paupers, or a committee thereof, shall be at
liberty to engage any of the Italian singers, provided their terms do
not exceed 100 guineas each per night.
_Clause 7._—Allows a premium of 50 guineas to the mother of every
illegitimate child born in the said mansion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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