The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and OdditiesThackeray, William Makepeace
Philosophy
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Almanacs, English -- England -- London; English wit and humor
Dear Dolly, I'll thank you to send the cocoa,
And Susan, who brings it, shall take back your boa.—
Pray, tell Doctor Bleed'em I've got a sad cough;
I caught it while watching young Hodge at the plough;
I thought the day fine and was simple enough
My umbrella to leave, so got wet through and through,
For it came down in torrents; your poor aunt was caught
In the rain, and I afterwards sat in a draught.
This made me much worse, but experience I bought,
And I'll never more trust to the sunshine and drought!
Well, I made myself dry, and I sat down to tea:
Of the good that it did me you'd form no idea.
But I quite hate the country, the weather's so rough,
So you'll see me, dear, soon in your little borough.
I hope, after all, that my cold will be trivial—
But still you may send me that stuff in the vial—
In the kitchen you'll find it, just over the trough.
Oh, my cough! oh, my cough! it all comes of the plough.
A SETTLER'S LETTER.
The Emigration Committee have thought it right to give publicity to the
following very intelligent letter, lately written by a settler to his
mother, on account of the valuable statistical information it contains.
Catchum's Shallow on the little Red River
Arkensaw Stait April 1838
MY DERE MUTHER,—Yer mustent wunder if you havnt herd of me for sume
time, but grate grefe is dumb as Shaxpire sais, and I was advised to
hop my twig and leaf old ingland, witch indede I was verry
sorrorful, but now I am thanks gudnes saf, and in amerrykey. i ardly
no ware miself, but the hed of this will tel my tail. I ham a
sqwatter in the far wurst, about ½ a-mile this side sundown, an if i
ad gone mutch father i should av found nothin but son, an no nite at
all. Yu kno how the hummeggrating Agent tolde me that if peepel
cudnt liv in Sent Gileses amerrykey was capitle to dy in; besides
ses he if youre not verry nere you can ade yure mother in distres,
so i went aborde a skip wat was going to Noo Orlines. Ive herd
peepel tawk abowt rodes at C but the rodes on the attalantick is the
verry ruffest i iver rode on and it was very long an very cold an we
had nothing 2 heat hardly, but we founde a ded rat in a warter cask
witch the flavur was grately increased thareby.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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