The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and OdditiesThackeray, William Makepeace
Philosophy
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Almanacs, English -- England -- London; English wit and humor
My dear wife, in her very finest clothes, with all the world looking at
her, was really enjoying this spectacle (which doesn't require any
knowledge of the language, seeing that the dumb animals don't talk it),
when there came in, presently, "the great Polish act of the Sarmatian
horse-tamer," on eight steeds, which we were all of us longing to see.
The horse-tamer, to music twenty miles an hour, rushed in on four of his
horses, leading the other four, and skurried round the ring. You
couldn't see him for the sawdust, but everybody was delighted, and
applauded like mad. Presently you saw there were only three horses in
front; he had slipped one more between his legs, another followed, and
it was clear that the consequences would be fatal, if he admitted any
more. The people applauded more than ever; and when, at last, seven and
eight were made to go in, not wholly, but sliding dexterously in and
out, with the others, so that you did not know which was which, the
house, I thought, would come down with applause; and the Sarmatian
horse-tamer bowed his great feathers to the ground. At last the music
grew slower, and he cantered leisurely round the ring; bending,
smirking, see-sawing, waving his whip, and laying his hand on his heart,
just as we have seen the Ashley's people do.
But fancy our astonishment, when, suddenly, this Sarmatian horse-tamer,
coming round with his four pair at a canter, and being opposite our box,
gave a start, and a—hupp! which made all of his horses stop stock-still
at an instant!
"Albert!" screamed my dear Jemmy: "Albert! Bahbahbah—baron!"
The Sarmatian looked at her for a minute; and turning head over heels
three times, bolted suddenly off his horses, and away out of our sight.
It was HIS EXCELLENCY THE BARON DE PUNTER!
Jemmy went off in a fit, as usual, and we never saw the Baron again; but
we heard afterwards that Punter was an apprentice of Franconi's, and had
run away to England, thinking to better himself, and had joined Mr.
Richardson's army; but Mr. Richardson, and then London, did not agree
with him; and we saw the last of him as he sprung over the barriers at
the Tuggeridgeville tournament.
"Well, Jemimarann," says Jemmy, in a fury, "you shall marry Tagrag; and
if I can't have a baroness for a daughter, at least you shall be a
baronet's lady!" Poor Jemimarann only sighed; she knew it was of no use
to remonstrate.
[Illustration:
THE HEIGHT OF SPECULATION—Groundless Expectations.
]
Paris grew dull to us after this; and we were more eager than ever to go
back to London; for what should we hear, but that that monster,
Tuggeridge, of the city—old Tug's black son, forsooth!—was going to
contest Jemmy's claim to the property, and had filed I don't know how
many bills against us in Chancery! Hearing this, we set off immediately,
and we arrived at Boulogne, and set off in that very same Grand Turk
which had brought us to France.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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