The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and OdditiesThackeray, William Makepeace
Philosophy
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Almanacs, English -- England -- London; English wit and humor
27th.—All safe arrived: only one pier-glass split into four, and best
tea-set, bought as 32 pieces, converted into 32 dozen. However, Mrs. G.
observes, that being by the river side, we must have a marine grotto,
and the pieces of looking-glass, mixed with the bits of blue and gold
china, will make a fine glitter among the moss and shells.
28th.—Grabbit recommends Isaac Snail as head gardener, and his son Isaac
to help him—says old Isaac was his right hand, and begged to be left in
the house, he was so attached to the garden.
31st.—Two days' rain, without ceasing; planning with Isaac on the large
kitchen table covered an inch thick with mould—laid down gravel walks of
red garter, and stuck up skewers for fruit trees.
_April 1._—Rain falling, river rising, cellars filling.
2nd.—Ducks swimming into the parlour—moved to the first floor for
safety—Musical Tom (my youngest) splashing about bare-legged in the
kitchen, and shouting "four feet water in the hold." A leak sprung in
the next onion field—all my land under water. Dick, perched on
window-sill, angling for roach in the garden. Isaac says we shall get
used to it, and the waters always go off again. Daughter Julia tells me
the people of Egypt would think it quite a blessing—beg to differ.
7th.—Can just see land.—House left rather slimy.—Isaac and I commence
gardening in earnest.—Distrained on for forty odd pounds, taxes left
unpaid by Mr. Grabbit.—To keep my goods, parted with the money, and
started to town for an explanation—found Grabbit sailed last week for
Swan River. Isaac says he was a worthy gentleman, but had a bad memory—
begin to be of the same opinion.
9th.—Buried an old hen at the foot of a plum-tree by the light of the
full moon—am told it will then bear egg-plums.
19th.—Potato eyes always an eye-sore, so have planted a bed with every
eye nicely cut away, by which I hope to grow a crop as smooth as my hand
and as blind as moles.—Look for the Horticultural Society's gold medal
for this bright idea.
27th.—Wondered my ranunculuses did not come up; just tried one, found I
had planted them all bottom topmost, and they were shooting away down to
what Dick says is the centre of gravity.
_May_ 3.—Grubbing for grubs among the rose-trees—cucumbers in full
flower—Mrs. Giblet and Julia come to help me—all busy setting the
blossoms—puzzled to tell the male flowers, till Mrs. G. discovered it
all by the book.
12th.—Tulips splendid yesterday, but flagged this morning; and after
dinner all napping with their heads on the bed—Isaac said it was the
east wind. Thought there might be a grub at the roots, so drew one up—
found no bulb—all the rest the same—somebody had taken away the roots
and stuck the flowers into the ground again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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