The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
In the year 1228, Henry had collected an army at Portsmouth to sail for
France, but Hubert de Burgh, who seems to have held the place of First
Lord of the Admiralty as well as his other offices, had not provided a
sufficient number of vessels. When the troops were about to embark it
was found impossible to stow them away even with the closest packing.
Henry flew into a violent passion with Hubert, accusing him of pocketing
the money he ought to have laid Goode out in ships, and the king had
drawn his sword, intending to run the minister through, when the Earl of
Chester ran between them, exclaiming "Hold!" with intense significance.
[Illustration: 149]
This fine dramatic situation told exceedingly well; for Hubert de Burgh
got off, though the king did not, and the expedition was postponed until
the year following. He passed over into Normandy, a.d. 1229, but he
preferred feasting to fighting, and the only advance he made was by
continually running away, which kept him constantly ahead of the
enemy. He, however, threw all the blame of the failure on Hubert, whose
shoulders must have been tolerably broad to have borne all that his
master chose to cast on to them.
The king returned to England very much out of pocket and completely out
of spirits. He applied to his old paymaster, the Parliament, but his
conduct had excited so much disgust, that instead of money, or as it was
then called, blunt, he got a blunt refusal. His majesty, whose tone
had hitherto been that of command, now assumed the humble air of the
mendicant, and he adopted the degraded clap-trap of his being "a
real case of distress," in order to obtain a subsidy. He declared his
inability to pay his way, but as his way was never to pay at all, this
argument availed him very little. He was, however, getting rapidly
shorter and shorter every day, when fearing that he would perhaps
compromise the dignity of the crown by pawning it, or sell the regalia
for the purpose of regaling himself, the Parliament agreed to let him
have a trifle for current expenses. This consisted of three marks for
every fief held immediately of the crown, * which was little enough to
give him an excuse for not paying his debts, and yet sufficient to allow
him to rush into fresh extravagances. In the year 1232, Henry, having of
course spent every shilling of his small supply, renewed his application
to Parliament, alleging that he was desirous of discharging the
liabilities incurred in his expedition to France, but the barons firmly,
and not very respectfully, refused any further pecuniary assistance.
They urged in effect, that they had already been doubly robbed of their
services and their cash, for they had never been paid for the one, and
had been almost drained of the other. The nobles, who had derived
nearly all they possessed from plunder, could not see the justice of the
principle, that as they had done to others they deserved to be done, and
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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