The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
As Louis went out of London at the East End, to embark for France,
Henry, who had been at Kingston, came in at Hyde Park Corner. Pembroke,
the regent, made him exceedingly popular by advising him to confirm
Magna Charta, and to add a clause or two for the purpose of freshening
it up, so that the new edition might repay perusal. Unfortunately for
the prospects of the kingdom, Pembroke died, in May, 1219, and was
buried in the Temple Church, where his tomb is still to be seen by
anyone who can obtain a bencher's order. The regent's authority was
now divided between Hubert de Burgh and Peter--or, as Rapin christens
him--William des Roches, the Bishop of Winchester. These two
individuals, though jealous of each other, agreed in the propriety of
another coronation, probably on account of the patronage it gave to
those who happened to be in power; and as the couple in question had
just taken office, they were anxious to realise some of the profits at
the earliest opportunity. In the quarrels between these two worthies,
Des Roches was getting rather the upper hand, when Hubert de Burgh, in
1223, got the pope to declare that the king, who was only sixteen years
of age, had attained his majority. Thus, like the dog in the manger,
Hubert determined that no one else should enjoy a position which he
himself was unable to profit by. This was an "artful dodge" of the
cunning Hubert, to get the game into his own hands, for Henry on being
pronounced "of age," having received a surrender of various castles
and fortified places from the barons, gave back those which he had
no occasion for to the wily minister. The barons, finding themselves
bamboozled, became exceedingly angry with the king and Hubert, but the
latter went on, alternately hanging and excommunicating, until he had
settled the obstreperous and quelled the turbulent.
The year 1225 must ever be remarkable for the refusal of Parliament--a
name that was then coming into use--to grant supplies without asking any
questions. This had formerly been the usual practice, but when Hubert
coolly proposed a grant of a fifteenth of all the movable property in
the kingdom for the use of the king, the Parliament said it was all very
well, but if the money was given there ought to be something to show for
it. Henry accordingly gave another ratification of Magna Charta, which
was a good deal like the old superfluous process of putting butter upon
bacon, for he had already twice ratified that important document. In
those days, however, there was no objection to giving the lily an extra
coat of paint, or treating the refined gold to an additional layer of
gilding.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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