The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
The pope now brought in a heavy bill of £100,000 for money lent, of
which Henry declared he had never enjoyed the benefit. The pope merely
observed, that he was clearing his books and must have the matter
settled. The king turned upon the clergy, upon whom he drew bills, one
of which was addressed to the Bishop of Worcester, who declared they
might take his mitre in execution for the amount, and the Bishop of
Gloucester said they might serve his the same; but if they did he
would wear a helmet. Richard, the king's brother, who was very wealthy,
hearing that the German empire was in the market for sale, made a bold
bid for it. There was another competitor for the lot in the person
of Alphonso, king of Castile, but Richard put down £700,000 and was
declared the purchaser. This liberality was of course at the expense of
poor England, which was so completely drained of cash that when Henry
met his Parliament on the 2nd of May, 1258, he found the barons in
full armour, rattling their swords, as much as to say, that these must
furnish a substitute for the precious metals.
Henry was alarmed at the menacing aspect of the assembly, but one of
his foreign half-brothers began vapouring, in a mixed _patois_ of bad
French, to the bent down, but not yet broken, English. The king himself
resorted to his old trick of promising, and pledged his word once more
with his usual success, though it was already pawned over and over again
for a hundred times its value. The barons, however, were still ready
to take it in; though they had got by them already an enormous stock of
similar articles, all unredeemed, and daily losing their interest. The
leader of the country party was at this time Simon de Montfort, Earl of
Leicester, a Frenchman, who had married Eleanor, the king's sister.
He had quarrelled and made it up with Henry once or twice, and the
following conversation is recorded to have taken place, in 1252, between
the earl and his sovereign:--
"You are a traitor," said the king.
"You are a liar!" replied the courtier.
After this brief and decisive dialogue Leicester went to France, but his
royal brother-in-law soon invited him back again.
On the 11th of June, 1258, there met, at Oxford, an assembly to which
the Royalists gave the name of the Mad Parliament. There was a good deal
of method in the madness of the members, for they appointed twenty-four
barons and bishops as a committee of government. There was some insanity
in the proposition to hold three sessions in a year, but it is doubtful
whether Dr. Winslow, or any other eminent physician would have found, in
the statutes passed at the time sufficient to form the foundation of
a statute of lunacy. Henry seems to have been most in want of Dr.
Winslow's care, for his majesty was exceedingly mad at the decisive
measures of the barons, and would have been glad of an asylum where he
would have been safe from their influence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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