The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
The prince owed his recovery to the prompt attendance of an English
surgeon, who happened to be settled at Acre, and to some drugs supplied
by the Grand Master of the Templars, who opened his heart and his
chest--of medicine--for the relief of the suffering Edward. There is
no doubt that Eleanor had sufficient affection for her husband, to have
prompted her to draw the poison into her mouth had it ever entered her
head; but the fact appears to be that the remedy was never thought of
until a century after the infliction of the wound, which was a little
too late to be of service to the patient, though nothing is ever too
late to be made use of by the chroniclers. The notion was too good to
be rejected by these very credulous gentlemen, who are easily induced to
convert might have been, into has been, when the latter course is better
adapted for exciting an agreeable interest.
Feeling tolerably secure of the throne, he was in no hurry to take
possession, but enjoyed an agreeable tour before returning to England.
He paid a visit to the new pope, his old friend Theobald, though there
was some difficulty in getting into Theobald's road, for his holiness
had left Rome for Civita Vecchia. Edward spent some time in Italy, for
among the many irons he had in the fire were two or three Italian irons,
which he desired to look after before arriving in his own country.
He next visited Paris, and instead of coming straight home with the
diligence that might have been expected, he turned back to Guienne,
where he was invited by the Count of Chalons to a tournament.
"'Twas in the merry month of May," in the year 1274, "When bees from
flower to flower did hum," exactly as they do in the present day, that
the parties met lance to lance, each attended by a host of champions.
Edward brought one thousand with him, but the Count of Chalons came
with two thousand, an incident which at once raised a suspicion that
the chivalrous knight intended foul play towards his royal antagonist.
A tournament in sport soon became a battle in earnest, and the count
rushed upon Edward, grasping him by the neck to embrace the opportunity
of unhorsing him. Nothing, however, could make him resign his seat, and
the Count of Chalons was soon licking the dust, or rather, the saw-dust
spread over the arena in which the tournament was given. Edward was so
angry at the trick which had been played, that he hit his antagonist
several times while down, and kept hammering at the armour of the count
like a smith at an anvil. The Count of Chalons roared out lustily for
mercy, but Edward refusing to grant it, continued to "give it him"
in another sense for several minutes. At length the count offered to
surrender his sword, which was igno-miniously rejected by the English
king, who called up a common foot soldier to take away the dishonoured
weapon.
[Illustration: 164]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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