The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
At length, on the 3rd of August, the commissioners met for the despatch
of business, and, of course, came to no decision. In the year following
they tackled the subject again, but it was found that the more they
talked about it, the more they differed. Edward, by way of complicating
the affair still further, summoned a Parliament to meet at Berwick on
the 15th of October, 1292, at which Bruce and Baliol were fully heard,
when the assembly laid down a general proposition that the lineal
descendant of the eldest sister, however remote in degree, was
preferable to the nearer in degree, if descended from a younger sister.
This decision left everything undecided, and accordingly Edward gave
judgment that Baliol should be king of Scotland, with the simple proviso
that Edward should be king of Baliol. The whole affair having been "a
sell" got up between the English sovereign and the Scottish claimant,
there was no demur on the part of the latter, who swore fealty, as he
would have sworn that black was white, had such been the purport of the
oath that his master required.
Edward took every opportunity of bullying Baliol, and even ordered him
to come all the way to Westminster to defend an action brought against
him for money due from Alexander the Third, his greatgrandfather. He was
also served with process in the paltry suit of self _ats_ Macduff;
and other writs, to which he was forced to appear in person, were
continually served upon him. For the smallest pecuniary claim the Scotch
king was compelled to come to England to plead, until his patience at
last gave way, and he turned refractory.
Edward was now at war with Philip of France, whom Baliol agreed to serve
by harassing their mutual enemy. The Scotch king, who was at heart a
humbug and a coward to the core, became exceedingly insolent, from the
belief that Edward was somewhat down, and the proper time had arrived
for hitting him. The English sovereign, who had been harassed at
first by the Scotch cur, soon brought him howling for mercy, which was
accorded on condition of his resigning the kingly office, a proposition
which Baliol basely submitted to. Edward made a triumphal progress
through Scotland, and taking a fancy to an old stone, upon which the
kings had sat to be crowned at Scone, caused the very uncomfortable
coronation chair to be removed to Westminster. * The people of Scotland
had always considered this block to be the corner-stone of their
liberties, and its removal seemed to take away the only foundation that
their hopes of regaining their independence were built upon. As long as
it was in their country, they believed it would bring them good fortune;
but they dreaded the reverse if the stone should be removed even so far
as a stone's throw from the borders of Scotland. Edward having appointed
the Earl de Warenne governor of the vanquished kingdom, and given away
all the appointments that were vacant to creatures of his own, returned
in triumph to England.
* Hemingford.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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